I’ve been traveling this week and putting a lot of interstate highway behind me. So I’ve see a lot of signs: “$1000 Fine For Littering.” Ho, hum, I guess a hundred ten-spots out the window would make “fine” litter, eh? I should be so rich.

Stupid sign.

Then I got to the great state of Washington. Climbing the north shore of the grand Columbia, I spotted the first new anti-litter warning:

IF YOU LITTER,
IT WILL HURT!

It’s a testimony to the power of blogging and the global microbrand, I think, that when my sleepy road-hypnotized eyes took in the first of these signs, my inner voice spoke unbidden: “If you litter it will hurt? Wow, they must be working with Mistress Matisse!”

Alas, back here in the real world, I expect that if they put Mistress Matisse in charge of the littering punishments, there’d be a sudden rash of fresh garbage along Washington’s highways.

Via BoingBoing comes word of James Lilek’s latest snarky deconstruction of mid-20th-century fashion, this time in the form of the amazingly-tame 1977 catalog from Fredericks Of Hollywood:

“On the far left, a small bra ad: it’s Farrah Fawcett, practicing her expressions should she land a role that requires her to be slapped, yet look sexy and available.”

Sometimes the Lileks caption is all you need:

“Lord Slink from the Planet Mantis puts the move on Loni Anderson.”

Here’s a hilarious transcript of cybersex gone terribly … right? Some goon tries to pretend to be a master, but he seems to think it mostly involves virtual punches and namecalling. And then the hunter becomes the hunted:

mia: *gets out strap-on, and slips it on*

jblack: whoa

mia: *attaches 14″ dildo to strap-on*

mia: *lubes the dildo up*

jblack: where’s the girl? you’re going to fuck a girl right?

mia: you’re the girl. i’m going to fuck you.

jblack: master does not approve

mia: no, see. this whole time you’re under the assumption that i needed to be dominated

mia: the truth of the matter is, I do the dominating.

mia: and to prove it

mia: i’m going to fuck your cyber ass until it cyber bleeds

jblack: master says no

mia: no, YOUR MASTER says yes

mia: bend the fuck over

jblack: i don’t like this

mia: too fucking bad, worm. you’re gonna get it now

mia: *bends you over. spreads your ass.*

jblack: no i don’t want this

mia: he doesn’t WANT this, he says. what about what i said, before you cyber raped me, DICK?

mia: all i’m doing is what you did to me. you think that’s unfair?

jblack: yes

mia: and why is that

jblack: because i aint a fag

mia: oh but i am?

jblack: different. your a bitch

mia: no, actually, YOU’RE the bitch right now

mia: *slams my big dildo into your ass*

mia: oh that feels so good doesn’t it, bitch?

jblack: this is rape

mia: “shut up, bitch. enjoy it”

mia: oh yeah, you like that?

mia: you like Master’s cock?

*jblack has signed off*

Similar Sex Blogging:

• The Happier Man
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When I was just a kid, I remember seeing some brightly colored surreal erotic landscapes in a Penthouse magazine, featuring breast mountains, penis volcanoes, semen rivers, and the like. The latest erotic drawing by Patty at Creative Spanked Wife put me fondly in mind of that long-forgotten pictorial, but I like this better:

What you see here is a severely cropped-and-reduced thumbnail of Patty’s drawing, so be sure to go see the whole thing at full size.

Oddest sex spam of the day, reproduced in its entirety:

Hi

Buy viagra or die!

Have a nice day.

Although I’m not sure it’s technically spam, since it came through without a working link or a valid reply email. Perhaps it’s just an aggressive new brand awareness campaign by Pfizer?

In which the heroine of Pillowbook utterly demolishes the serenity of a stuffy “naturist” camp with straight talk, direct action, and showering without a towel. An example of the straight talk:

The second thing I realised was that I had that familiar wet feeling between my thighs.

Well, all right, no point being bashful: not between my thighs, exactly, but between my cunt lips, and slick down my perineum to my arse.

Here are a couple of photographs of a life-sized statue of Britney Spears giving birth. Questionable taste? Who cares, it’s Britney Spears naked!

Of course all art is political and this statue is assuredly no exception. For the backstory and the blah blah blah and the link credits and the source website with the popups, go see the story on Boing Boing.

See also: Britney Spears Pregnant: The Rear View

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• Britney Spears Circus WHAT?
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• The Britney Spears Pregnant Rear View