There are some things no zipper should be asked to contain. These are two of those things:

Yet another gem from Usenet.

Spanking Blog has a long post up full of adult blogging tips — although many are applicable to all sorts of blogging, and not just to sex blogs. I wish more people felt this way:

Be very wary of negotiated link exchanges. If somebody has already linked to you, and emails you to ask for a return link, try to give their site a fair look. It’s polite to reciprocate, but not fair to your surfers if the site sucks. However, if someone emails you about an “exchange of links”, but hasn’t put your own link up yet, they are telling you “I don’t think your site is good enough to link to, but I’ll do it anyway if you’ll link to me first.” Screw that. Half the time, even if you do put up the link, they never reciprocate. But the important point is: they don’t respect you enough to link to you. They only want your return link. Again, screw that.

What he said, once again with feeling: “Screw that!”

I’m embarrassed because as I was crawling into my lonely bed last night I realized that I’ve now promised y’all two stories….my favorite fantasy and the tale of R and me and our holiday vacation. I’m still trying to get caught up on work that piled up while I was gone, and neither of these stories is going to be a fast writing job. But I am trying to get time for them, and you will see them at some point. If there’s more interest for one than the other (you can provide your “vote” in a comment) that’s the one I’ll do first.

Meantime, I was catching up on Bacchus’ older posts, and saw this one, that includes links to some kinky Harry Potter fanfic. Here’s one I found that is similar, but more focused on emotions than graphically describing acts. It’s called Remains, and it’s by RazorQueen. Scanning down her blog, I see links to more sexy Harry Potter stuff….and looking at her website, a whole section of adult fanfic. And dark poetry. Yowza. A couple of her love poems really got to me….if I had read them before R invited me out to play for the holidays I might not have gone.

Will that help hold you while I try to find time to write the stories I’ve promised you? :)

Expanding again on a post by my esteemed colleague…but we do have the nicest friends. In addition to those Bacchus mentioned in his post yesterday, and those who decloaked in the comments (DTG at PussyTalk, smooches and thanks for nominating ErosBlog as a best “big-name” blog, whatever that is), others share the loveliest stuff with us. A nice example follows; I found it yesterday when I checked my email from here for the first time since returning home:

She calls it a “Sugar Plum fairy” ensemble, but I see it as a beautiful snow or winter queen creation…..and although I understand why she did it, it’s too bad our thoughtful Stockings Diva of Corset Dreams and Lingerie Dreams didn’t provide a full shot of her obviously pretty face. Thanks in part to her, I’ve resolved to get back into better shape, even though I’ve nobody to show it off to right now….I want to wear sensuous stuff like this and look hot in it for myself! Perhaps I’ll return the photo favor some day, too. :)

So I was looking at the Best Of Blog nominations (because somebody told me ErosBlog was on there, albeit in a mystifying category with a horrifying and ridiculous scarlet-letter disclaimer after our name.) I was delighted to discover that the enormously entertaining Mistress Matisse is a finalist in the best sex blog category.

Now, obviously I like her blog a lot, or it likely wouldn’t be at the very top of my sex blog list. (Lower down, position doesn’t mean anything; but blogs near the top are all ones much liked by Aphrodite, The Nymph, or me.) Matisse combines an entertaining writing style I can’t even manage to dream of having with a commendable willingness to write about her own personal and professional exploits, which are (from the perspective of a country boy like me) themselves rather eye-opening. The combination ensures that her blog is the first link I click every morning when I open my blog. I therefore commend her to your voting finger. You know what to do.

What? Not convinced yet? Smart and funny don’t do it for ya? So you’re one of those horndogs who wouldn’t cast a vote for Pope without shouting “show us yer tits” first? We got ya covered:

Unreduced photo here.

If Matisse doesn’t do it for you, there are other worthy candidates on the sex blog list, including at least one set of old blogfriends that would be very close in the contest for my fickle affections if they only posted more regularly. (Hi, Mike-and-Michelle!) But I promise you, there’s nobody else on that sex blog list who would make a better Queen of The Sex Bloggers….

Bacchus’ post on increased-ejaculate spam and concerns prompted a pleasant stroll down memory lane for me, with an interesting twist–I compared my experiences with various lovers, with the hope of coming up with something helpful from a female perspective. Don’t know that I’ve accomplished that, but I’ll still share my thoughts.

Bacchus is dead right that what goes on inside can be, er, hard to measure. But if a lady is tight enough, and paying sufficient attention, she can feel something that correlates, apparently, to the force of her partner’s ejaculation. At least I can….or could. (Not having a steady sex life, partner-wise, I’ve lost some muscle tone. :( ) I’m sure I’m not alone in having that ability.

Where it might become more of an issue is externally-oriented play, as some commenters focused on. While shooting a huge load is probably highly desirable for bukkake, and sometimes on other occasions, there are definitely times when a gal doesn’t want to have to be concerned about telltale white streaks on skin, clothing, or in her hair. (But then again, there are definitely times when it’s part of the lingering fun after sex to wonder if anybody can put the clues together and figure out that you’ve just had some naughty fun!)

Where I’ve noticed volume the most is in fellatio, no surprise there. I’ve had gushers and dribblers, and you know what? The amount of the ejaculate never seems directly tied to how much my partner seems to be enjoying himself. That’s even true for those male actors out there who like to give the impression that every sex act is the ultimate thrill, never to be topped [big yawn].

What really gets me off is knowing I’m getting him off–genuine pleasure, not the going-for-the-Oscar type stuff. The slow, subtle increase in muscle tension in his abs, thighs, and butt muscles…..the pelvic thrusts (if he’s in a position that allows ’em)….the changes in his breathing…especially the ragged breathing as he gets close to coming…oh my, is it getting warm in here? Hearing that breathing gets me going so much that I don’t care about load and velocity, I just want the explosion!!!

And last, I do enjoy giving prostate stimulation–only from the outside so far for me, no heavy-duty milking–to guys who aren’t hung up about being touched there. It seems to always add to the intensity of his orgasm, whether or not it increases his ejaculate. And if it’s better for him, it’s better for me! :D

Nobody expects very much from spam. But most of it makes at least a certain sort of sense. Bigger penis? Sure, there’s a market. Harder penis? Why not? Breast enlargements? Cheaper mortgages? Debt reduction? Fake Rolex watches? I probably know somebody who wants each of these things.

But an increased ejaculate volume? Who do I know that worries about their inability to make a big enough mess during sex? No, on second thought, don’t tell me.

This is an actual spam I just got, with editorial comments in brackets:

Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?

[Er, no. Or, I’m not sure about the dribbling. Usually I’m not looking; usually it’s in a warm moist place that I can’t see into. As for wishing it had shot out, why? This ain’t a peeing contest, boys. There are, so far as I know, no prizes for volume or velocity.]

Have you ever wanted to impress your girl with a huge cumshot?

[I’ve frequently wanted to impress my girl, yes. But is she impressed by a huge cumshot? Uh, Nymph? Is there something you haven’t been telling me? Is there in fact any woman in the whole freakin’ world who cares whether a cumshot is huge or not?]

[. . . . . sound of crickets . . . . . ]

[PRODUCT] is the only site to offer an all natural male enhancement
formula that is proven to increase your sperm volume by up to 500%.
Our highly potent, volume enhancing formula will give our results
in days and comes with an impressive 100% guarantee.

Imagine the difference (look and feel) between dribbling your cum
compared to shooting out burst after burst.

[The look? Where exactly is this wanker ejaculating? And exactly how little sensation is he getting from sex, that he’s worring about the feel of his ejaculation? Hello, you’re supposed to be in sensory overload just then!]

Try [PRODUCT] now! and with our money back guarantee you have absolutely nothing to lose!

[Riiiight — because taking pills with absolutely no information on what’s in them is never dangerous. “Your herbal poison eroded my heart valves, can I have my $19.99 back please?]

But seriously, folks, and all ridicule aside — is there anybody among my readers, male or female, who worries about the force and volume of male ejaculate? If so, please chime in with a comment and an explanation!