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The Sex Blog Of Record
ErosBlog posts containing "sex toys"
April 7th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
As a white dude who enjoys playing with tech, it will shock no one to discover that throughout the growing debate over large language models and AI toys/tools like ChatGPT, it entirely eluded me that there might be a gendered nuance to the various reactions and backlashes. Here’s Andrea Grimes educating dudes like me:
An AI-synthesized answer to an even lightly complicated question is to me both useless and terrifying as a woman. I’m already capable of synthesizing my own information because I’m accustomed to sifting through biased data, identifying and excluding unreliable sources, and drawing my own conclusions. Not because I’m a journalist, or because I have a couple of degrees, or because I’m just curious by nature. It’s because I’m a woman. Biggity bam. Asked and answered. I’m always already aware that the information available to me in the world is more likely than not to have been gathered, created, or presented with men, and/or men’s perceived needs, in mind. (See: the entire field of medical research.) I don’t need a robot built by a bunch of tech bros to use its tech bro brain to sift through information deemed relevant by and for tech bros to report back to me on literally anything. I already have that! It’s called the internet, and the tech bros use it to call me fat.
And more:
The AI zeitgeist is rooted in white men being so worried that they are on the verge of having to trust the expertise of people who aren’t just like them that they would rather get their information from a wrong robot.
Just when I thought Grimes had been as provocative as she was gonna be, her subject turned to porn:
Indeed, some men (or men of a type? Hopefully not in general? IDK! This one’s on y’all dudes!) are so excited about the erasive and invisibilizing possibilities of AI that they would rather have their pornography feature AI-generated women than actual human people. Garbage Day’s Ryan Broderick offers a fascinating/revolting and nevertheless on point take:
So I suppose the idea here is to replace human sex workers with A.I.-generated content because these men want to look at sexual content, but they hate the women that make it. They want the machines to free them from the self-loathing of being a “simp”.
And the fact that A.I. porn crushing the human porn industry is compared to journalism is also telling. Because I think for a lot of men, particularly in Gen Z, all of mass media, including pornography, has been successfully coded in their minds as woke and feminine by various far-right reactionaries. And these men are now beginning to see emerging A.I. tools as a way to hurt, and maybe finally vanquish, those who make the human-created media that they seem to hate so much.
I have my own reasons for being interested in AI-generated porn that don’t match the speculations above at all, but I’m super mindful that I’m not all men, to borrow a phrase with my tongue firmly in cheek. Moreover I’m forced to agree that there are signs of misogyny to be found in the community of men who are tinkering with AI porn. I don’t have a link at my fingertips, but I’ve seen porn webmasters in private forums whose excitement over AI porn generation definitely includes, at least in subtext, a powerful whiff of “at last, I can be a pornographer without having to deal with all those whiney-bitch models.”
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March 10th, 2023 -- by Bacchus
Ancient art abounds with what art historians and archeologists love to describe as “fertility figurines”. I’m not sure if they are deliberately being obtuse, or if this is a consciously-delicate circumlocution. But we know in our hearts that these fertility figurines were objects of personal art, to be carried around, treasured, and perhaps fondled in private moments. In fine, an early technology of personal porn:
This one is in the British Museum, having been donated thereunto in 1914 by the 5th Earl of Carnarvon. Egyptologist Gay Robins in The Art of Ancient Egypt describes it:
“Female fertility figurine of blue Egyptian faience with details added in black. The legs are not broken but intentionally end at the knees. This is a common characteristic of such Middle Kingdom figurines, perhaps meant to limit the figure’s power of movement or possibly because the lower legs were regarded as inessential to the figure’s function.”
Hmmm, where else have I seen a small figural sculpture with the legs omitted as inessential to function? Oh, right… Yeah, I’ve got your fertility figurine right here:
Image and descriptive citation both provided by one of ErosBlog’s loyal patrons. Thanks!
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March 2nd, 2023 -- by Bacchus
There’s a recurring meme on social media where a pretty young woman riffs on the invisibly-narrow distinction between “I’m sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty” and “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” Queue the facepalming priests and/or daddy doms. It’s funny because it’s true, you know?
Meanwhile I was paging through the men’s magazines of my grandfather’s era (as one does) when I found an “I’m sure it seemed funny at the time” two page humor spread spotlighting another fine line I didn’t even know existed. I’m talking about the cultural linkage connecting pre-sexual-revolution sugar daddies to the BDSM-adjacent age-playing daddies and daddy-doms of today.
Sugar daddies and their sugar babies have been with us for a very long time, but it always struck me as being a cutesy name for a common category of light sex work, what we might these days call “compensated dating.” It never once crossed my mind that old-fashioned sugar-daddying was in any sense also a fetish and roleplay category. Even though the notion of the sugar daddy is more than 100 years old, and “babe” is a routine term of endearment in these modern times, I’d never much encountered the infantilizing vocabularies used by modern age-players (littles and middles and so forth) applied to the women of yore who sought sugar daddies and then kept them entertained.
Thus my surprise and delight at finding The Care And Feeding Of Babes: Complete Guide For The Perplexed Sugar Daddy With A Problem Baby in the December 1950 issue of Flirt magazine. The ageplay iconography is all here: stroller, playpens, two different rattles, baby bottle, toy blocks, hair bow, and even a child’s polka-dot dress (think Little Dot). To my amazement, the text not only waltzes right up to that fuzzy line between BDSM and age play, but also steps firmly across it, with references to “training baby”, discussion of “how to get obedience”, and the obviously-insincere advice to avoid “the old-fashioned hairbrush” when faced with temper tantrums.
Did you think the people of 100 years ago weren’t every bit as kinky and twisted as we are? I keep getting my nose rubbed in it, without ever quite learning the lesson. But that’s an entirely different (and worse-smelling) fetish, quite beyond the current scope.
* * * * *
By and for the robots, here’s the article transcript:
The Care And Feeding Of Babes: Complete Guide For The Perplexed Sugar Daddy With A Problem Baby
HOW’S BABY, JOE? Is she getting to be a problem?
Reaching the age when she’s hard to manage? Refuses to eat her spinach, but not the filet mignon? Are you perplexed about telling her there is no Santa Claus? Then this is just the article for you. Here you will find a scientific, practical guide to training baby, her emotional problems, what to do when she cries, dietary do’s and dont’s, properplay and diversions, how to get obedience — in fact everything a sugar daddy needs to know to bring up a healthy, happy, bouncing babe.
First, a reminder of what you already know, that there are bound to be days when baby is going to exasperate you with her demands, when her crying and screaming gets on your nerves and your patience is wearing dangerously thin. Then the thing to do is get a good hold on yourself, not baby, and remember that she is just a child and will soon be laughing and cooing again.
BABY’S FIRST STEPS: It’s generally advisable to teach her to walk at once. It saves a lot of taxi bills. Walks in the park are an inexpensive and healthy form of exercise. Walking helps to give baby strong, well shaped legs, a consideration you naturally do not want to neglect.
STROLLERS, CARRIAGES, ETC.: Of course baby cannot be expected to walk everywhere and you will need some kind of carriage for her when her little feet begin to lag. Unfortunately this necessary equipment is expensive, ranging from about $2,000 for a Jeepster-type carriage up to $ 15,000 for the Cadillac convertible with leopard skin upholstery. A good fox tail for the radiator cap to dazzle baby’s eyes can be bought for about $50. But this type of conveyance for airing your charge is so indispensable that most authorities call it a “must,” even if you have to pick up a second-hand job at the “Smiling Irishman’s.”
TEMPER TANTRUMS: These are bound to happen and must be met with calmness and firmness, not the old-fashioned hairbrush. If they occur at home and persist with undue intensity, a bucket of cold water will usually stop them. Or you can retire to the roof until they subside. Public demonstrations of childish anger are not so easily dealt with, however. When baby lies down in the middle of the sidewalk, kicking and screaming, it’s probably better to give in to her and buy the damned hat.
PLAYPENS: Any sturdy, well-built night club will do. They come in various sizes and prices to fit your purse and preference. Baby will be happy in any.
ANSWERING QUESTIONS: Almost from the start you will notice the amazing phenomenon of growing curiosity. Where were you last night? How much do you have in the bank? How did that blonde hair get on your shoulder? Baby’s desire to know about things has no limits. Her inquiring little mind will conjure up questions faster than you can think up evasive answers. Of course you don’t want to stifle her curiosity about you with impatient and irritable replies, but on the other hand you can’t afford to expose her tender feelings to the brutal facts which, in turn, expose you. That’s why the Little White Lie was invented. Also the Big Black One.
This subject brings up the matter of Santa Claus. Should you tell baby there is none, that you’ll buy her an occasional Tootsie Roll, but as far as coming around with a sack of loot over your back, the white-whisker business is definitely out? Well, you can try it, though the shock of it may make baby run away from home. In which case, of course, you can always adopt another.
TOYS AND PLAYTHINGS: If, however, you have a billion in bullion, you may enjoy spoiling baby with lots of toys. Bright objects like diamonds and rubies set in platinum always fetch coos and gurgles and a shiny emerald bracelet is guaranteed to put a wonderful smile on Baby-face.
CLOTHING: Warmth and comfort are all-important. Mink, sable and ermine are excellent protection from cold winds and draughts, if you can afford them. Mouton serves the purpose too, but somehow it doesn’t seem to warm baby quite as well.
Footgear is also a problem. It’s amazing how fast they can wear their shoes out. An aid in providing sufficient foot gear is a pair of small white cubes called dice and can be procured at your nearest five-and-ten. These cubes are rolled on the floor. At the same time the roller snaps his fingers and chants, “Come seven, come eleven, baby needs new shoes!” In this way she either gets her shoes or you lose your shirt.
DIET: Go easy on fattening starches and sweets unless, of course, she is underweight. Otherwise plenty of proteins like hot dogs and hamburgers — if she’s a budget baby — and lots of vegetables like raw cabbage, cole slaw and carrots. Should her appetite grow listless from this diet, throw her an occasional fish.
CRYING: Flowers, a little gift, stops this immediately. Also coming home sober for a change.
GAMES, DIVERSIONS: On rainy days when she can’t go out to play, the game of Post Office is a wonderful diversion and one that you can enjoy as well. For outdoor sport, splashing in the kiddies’ pool is fun. If you play golf you can have her carry your clubs. It saves caddy fees and, while of course that isn’t important, at the same time gives her healthy exercise. Also, while she keeps her eye on the ball, you can keep your eye on her.
BRIGHT SAYINGS: Don’t look for these, but if she surprises you with one, send it in.
TEACHING BABY TO SAY BYE-BYE: This can be very difficult. Sometimes they don’t want to say bye-bye. Plenty of baby talk — but not that. Perish forbid, but maybe she says, “Does big sugar-daddy wuv wittle me?” — but no “Bye-bye.” If all else fails, a one-way ticket to Timbuctoo will do it.
I hope this little guide for bringing up baby has helped you, Joe. The responsibilities are great, but they sure are worth it, what?
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December 17th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
Since we are currently enjoying the ErosBlog 20th-anniversary year, and because the 2022 Kink.com “Naughty and Nice” holiday sale just started, I thought it would be fun to look back at kinky Christmases past. It turns out that ErosBlog has featured Kink.com content during no fewer than eight previous festive-holiday seasons:
- In 2020 we got a “used, sticky, happy” blonde tied up under the Christmas tree with the other presents. But not until she enjoyed the Christmas Eve bondage gangbang that she had been wanting for years.
- In 2019, Santa done fucked up! He dropped down the wrong chimney and let himself get captured by a bored and lonely MILF-dominatrix. He ended up getting a merrier Christmas than he bargained for.
- Also in 2019, we found a very large gift-wrapped box under our tree. Inside? A stunning brunette, a buzzing Sybian, and a whole lot of orgasms.
- Also in 2019 (heck, that year was pretty much a kinky advent calendar) we got three anal-obsessed lesbians having a slumber party under the Christmas tree. Not much slumbering transpired. Fortunately, the elf on the shelf had a camera inside, so this holiday cheer got captured for us all.
- Back in 2012, we got a blonde with big tits and a Santa hat riding a Sybian for our libidinous entertainment. She reminded me of “Penny” from Big Bang Theory, but the actress on the orgasm machine was not actually Kaley Cuoco. Even Santa Claus has limits to his power.
- In 2010, the kinky Christmas festivities involved two dommes and three helpless himbos. It was an energetic celebration with more than one good hard holiday spanking!
- In 2009, we found out that Santa is a sadistic bastard. He keeps shackled slavegirls in his workshop to pack his toys and polish his knob and satisfy his every sexual whim. These whims, it turns out, are both numerous and inventive.
- In 2007, I shared a kinky porn shoot that featured the very thing that I wanted for Christmas. Surprisingly, the object of my desire was not the lovely lady chained to a blowjob post, although I never say “no” to opportunities such as those. Nope! The focus of my lust was the vintage antique ceramic-and-metal tractor sign on the dungeon wall. What can I say? The heart wants what it wants.
Merry kinky Christmas!
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November 6th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
There’s a story on the Tamsin Flowers erotic stories site called Good Girlfriends Peg Their Man. The narrator of the story seems to be a very good girlfriend indeed:
I jumped up with glee, excited at getting to finally try out something I had begged past boyfriends to try.
“You’re serious? you’re really okay with it?”, he said, dumbfounded.
…
One Friday evening as the sunset and the mood kicked in, my boyfriend presented me with a gift box. Inside was a strap-on with a modest dildo beside it. My eyes were wide as I began exploring it, feeling its power and its possibilities. The harness was easily slipped around my waist and the dildo fell into place easily, I paraded around the room giggling and my boyfriend joined in, smiling at my silliness and enjoying my excitement.
A ridiculous amount of the pegging porn out there is bundled with assorted tropes of female supremacy, leather gear, sneering femdom disdain, and/or professional-dominatrix simulated power exchange. All of those things, together or separately, are perfectly fine fetish spaces, as valid as any others. But none of those ways are the only way. A slim dildo (or a thick one, you do you!) in a secure harness is just another sex toy at the end of the day; there’s no reason it has to be seen as a BDSM thing specifically, or any kind of power exchange thing at all.
Couples plus toys equals orgasms; every other layer of symbolism and and significance we want to layer on top of that is optional. Sure, the fantasy toppings are the whipped cream and the cherry for lots of people, but with different toppings (or no toppings at all) you still have a delicious dessert.
That’s why I enjoy the story quoted above. It’s the simplest possible plot in a sex story: “I had this fantasy, so did my partner, but we didn’t know! Once we found out, boy did we have a wild night of sex!” That’s good stuff. It’s always good stuff. It literally never gets old.
In twenty years of sex blogging I’ve seen a whole lot of different accounts (fiction, non-fiction, instructional, autobiographical, accounts of every kind) about why people enjoy the kinds of sex that they like. As always, the accounts of male sexual pleasure strike me as not very complex. Men like pegging, power dynamics aside, because the pleasure of prostate simulation is different in kind from other male sexual pleasures, and is more rarely experienced due to it often requiring a bit of a “long and mysterious procedure” for a lot of straight men. Women’s reasons for enjoying it are more diverse, per the accounts I’ve seen, with the various power exchange motives frequently predominant. Among these, one recurring theme is their enjoyment at wreaking utterly massive ejaculations out of men whose normal emission is less impressive. We see this motive on display, perhaps, in the final illustration:
Image credits, top to bottom: The romantic pegging at the top of the post is by Angeban93. The greyscale pegging with a thick strap-on is by Aru (或). The busty lady piledriving her strap-on straight down into her doubled partner is by Rtil. The pegged man ejaculating while one nipple gets twisted is by Gamingarzia. The happy fellow spurting a whole lot of thick cum is by Mosbles.
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February 20th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
Apropos the previous post on the perils of online sex toy shopping, one way around the problem is of course to order a lot of toys in hopes of finding that one perfect size. Of course, this is a problem if your romantic partner is a completist collector who insists on watching you use all of them:
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January 18th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
Via Gizmodo and Urology Case Reports comes a novel “foreign body sexual mishap” report. Remember that people always lie about these things (“I slipped in my garage while naked and fell on my toolbox and that’s how the pipe wrench got up my ass”) so we should perhaps not take at face value the patient-report parts of this story. As the story goes, though, it appears that old boy was in the habit of having his partner insert small cylindrical objects from around the house (plastic straws and such, not proper urethral sounding toys) into his dick to help with erectile function and cock stiffness. They just happened to use the straw from a can of spray foam while leaving the can attached, when the partner “inadvertently” pressed the button, leading to a bladder and urethra full of foam. Then, of course, they waited weeks before going in for the inevitable surgical removal:
We are permitted to wonder, I think, whether the foam injection was actually deliberate, even if very unwise. But that’s not how Gizmodo tells the story:
A man and his partner’s attempt at a treatment for erectile dysfunction went disastrously wrong, according to his doctors. In a recent case report, they detail how his partner accidentally shot insulation foam into the man’s penis and bladder while a straw connected to the spray had been inserted into his urethra.
…
The 45-year-old man had been inserting various objects into his urethra for some time as an aid for erectile dysfunction. During one such occasion, he and his partner had decided to use a straw attached to a can of weatherproofing spray, when the partner “inadvertently pressed the button deploying the foam.” The foam then shot through his entire urethra, even filling up his bladder. The man waited three weeks before seeking medical attention at an emergency room, during which time he increasingly had difficulty urinating and urinating blood when he did.
…
While doctors were able to remove the foam from his bladder with relative ease, his condition meant that they couldn’t fish out the rest from his penis with minimal endoscopic surgery. Instead, they had to cut him open through his perineum (the skin between the penis and anus, also known as the taint).
Ouch.
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