How To Spot A Fake Magic Wand
What kind of soulless scum sells a fake vibrator? According to self-described pleasure advocate Sunny Megatron, such scum we have in plenty. Sunny estimates that “over 95% of the Magic Wands sold on Amazon and eBay are straight up fakes”. She’s talking about the Magic Wand Original vibrator (the one that used to be called the “Hitachi Magic Wand” before Hitachi got all sex-squeamish) and she reports that the internals of the fake knockoffs range from disappointing in the pleasure department (perhaps lacking that distinctive American-motorcycle gut-shaking rumble) all the way to downright dangerous, with reports having reached her ears of fake wands that melted, shorted out, or even caught fire.
Fortunately, Sunny’s article offers five sure-fire ways to distinguish a genuine Magic Wand from the false article. Go, read, become enlightened.
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It’s so hard to get good help these days…
Are you suggesting that a classic British motorcycle like a Norton or Triumph (such as that Brando rode in The Wild One) is so much better-engineered than the American bikes that they have fewer of those unnecessary harmonics in their vibrations that come with less precision in the build? Now off to find an emoji with handlebar moustache, sideburns, top hat and a monocle.
Hah! I’m staying OUT of the intercontinental motorcycle snark business. As you obviously realize, I was just grasping for a phrase that would be evocative of a certain sensation that’s associated with a certain famous brand that I did NOT want to mention outright in this context, lest their lawyers beset me with chains and brass knuckles.