One of the things I like about ALS-Scan (and one of the reasons I’ve considered them A Real Solid Porn Value for a lot longer than I’ve been running a sex blog) is that once a year or thereabouts, they pack up their cutest models and head for some sunny island somewhere, for an extra-decadent set of sun-drenched photo-shoots. This never fails, because it’s clear that everybody from the models to the photographers to the company dog is having an extra good time, and as always, fun porn is best porn:

Now-wait-a-gawd-damned-minute! Did I just say “dog?”

Yes, yes I did. I even put in a helpful red arrow in the right-hand side of the frame, where you can see him ambling down the beach. If you click the photo (recommended) you’ll see a much bigger version, letting you see the dog (and the girls) more clearly. Dog lovers will recognize, by body language and expression, much of what this particular canine critter is thinking:

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Spanking Blog ponders this approximately 85-word tattoo and wonders “can you imagine pounding that ass doggie-style every few days, week in and week out, seeing that verse heaving in front of you every time?”

Me, I’m the kind of guy for whom the catastrophic apostrophic mishap in line six would be a boner-killer. But wave the magic laser wand and deem that fixed, for the sake of the thought experiment. I’m still reminded of an old chestnut of a Robert Service poem called The Ballad of Salvation Bill.

It’s about a preacher trapped in a Klondike cabin all winter with a sinner of a prospector who has tobacco but no rolling papers. The prospector eyes the preacher’s bible, the preacher won’t share single page for smoking, and it’s a long hard winter for awhile. There’s violence, and melodrama, and eventually there’s an agreement: he can smoke the Bible pages, but he has to read them first. But you guessed it:

I smoked and smoked from Genesis to Job,
And as I smoked I read each blessed word;
While in the shadow of his bunk I heard him sigh and sob,
And then… a most peculiar thing occurred.
I got to reading more and more, and smoking less and less…

It would be a terrible shame if this tract of a tattoo had a similarly depressing effect.

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“Damn, honey. I think we’re going to need some more lube…”

From Explicite Art.

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Just stumbled over this post title while looking for something else. Talk about inspired tawdriness:

From Behind. On A Mattress. In A Basement.

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I’m not at all sure what’s going on here. But naked people having fun is always relevant to my interests:

In a longer piece, Julie Meadows writes:

A woman has natural power in this world. She is a potent source of sexuality and life. It is a gift, but as with all gifts, it is also a curse because men and women will always hate her for knowing her own power.

That is why she is called a whore. She knows it, she uses it, and it scares people who want it or wish they had it, even if her choices have nothing to do with those people. Sex work can be safe and healthy, or it can be illegal and dangerous. We should be protecting all members of our society, including the beautiful and powerful women. A sex worker – properly trained for sex work – can be an educator and source of liberation for others. A friend of mine told me that as a young man, he picked the female with the most sexual experience and had her teach him everything. He had successful relationships after that because he acquired skill through mindfulness that many men never learn because they don’t pay attention. But more than that, a compassionate sex worker can provide emotional and mental soothing for clients, or teach couples things they can do together through instruction. I spent many hours as an escort just talking to clients, listening to their problems and assuring them that the stresses of their daily life are common and that they shouldn’t be too hard on themselves. With an education in therapy and counseling, coupled with the confidence that comes with providing a legal service, I could have thrived as someone capable of physical and mental and emotional therapy. They are all important.

What’s wrong with being a whore? The people who strip her humanity away from her and tape her mouth closed. Other than that, nothing.

Emphasis, on those first three sentences, added by me.

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I have — this will not be news — a perverse bent, so I laughed when I saw the product title “Anal Swizzle Sticks“. When I saw the admonition in the product description “just don’t leave these lying around the wet bar when your in-laws visit” my mind immediately began to work on drink recipes:

They are cheap enough to use for pranks (chilling them in a bowl of ice water and then using them as intended might be a good prank, though if I were you I’d make sure your exit lanes were clear first, or use handcuffs) but they are almost ten inches long, so for tacky drinks, you’d need to start with a cartoonishly large glass.

I’m pretty sure that before we finished taking this mixology thought experiment to its fullest and tackiest conclusion, we’d have something called a “Hershey Squirt” and it would have candy corn floating in it. So, on second thought, I’ll stop right here.

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