I know they say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But are you supposed to devour it, or can you just lick it?

Those greeters at your local Megalo-Mart can be very friendly:

But somehow I’m guessing this isn’t in the employee handbook.

I do so love porn that tells a story, don’t you? Here’s the lovely bondage model Star, looking at a Hogtied.com photographer with what can only be described as gentle scepticism. I imagine he’s telling her what they are going to do on today’s shoot:

Fast forward several steps — hey, look at porn your own self if you want the whole story — and we find lovely Star on a soft bed in her ball gag and head harness. Very peaceful, very calm, only… does it look to you like she might be a little wide-eyed? Is that a bunny-in-the-road look, would you say?

It turns out, she has good reason to stay very still.

There’s a rope, you see. (Could this be bondage porn without a rope?) One end’s tied to the back of her head harness. The other? Well, turns out it’s tied to, um, er… well, I’m afraid there’s really no way to put this gently. It’s tied to a stainless steel butt hook. Which goes… exactly where you are afraid it goes. See for yourself. See?

So now, a great many of us can go on about our daily duties while knowing more about the depths of human kinkiness and perversity than we knew when we woke up this morning. And if you get bored sitting at your desk today, just nod your head a little bit and try to imagine how it would feel at the other end of the rope.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Zero To Screaming In Ten Seconds
• Military Assistance: A Blowjob Aide
• Her O Face
• Two Smiles
• Bondage Yoga In Mexico

Here’s a detailed article — let’s call it Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Kissing But Were Afraid To Ask — from the How Stuff Works people. One thing I didn’t know:

Ancient Romans also used kissing as part of political campaigns. However, several “kisses for votes” scandals in 18th century England led — in theory — to candidates kissing only the very young and very old.

Kisses for votes? How did that work, exactly? I can see it now, George Clooney and Halle Berry, they could flip a coin to see who’s at the top of the ticket, a runaway “Kisses For America” campaign.

Link via Sexoteric.

Looks like somebody got a little carried away, and blew out his steel-reinforced silicone sex doll:

Summer picnics in the park, blowjobs on the picnic tables, what could be more summery than that?

Sir and I met up after work. We drove to one of favorite parks since parks are pretty much all we have right now till summers over. It was a nice night to be outside. It was hot and humid but it was comfortable at the park near the water.

We sat on the bench together and started kissing. Our kisses grew more and more passionate. My whole body surged with excitement as I could feel Sir’s passionate burning desire for me there in his kiss.

…

Anyway back to that burning passionate kissing that left me a melting dripping slut. We kissed like that for a good while and then I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to have some cock. I reached down and felt the stiff pole through his shorts. God it was hard! God I wanted it. We got his pants unfastened and I held his cock in my hand. “Do you want to go over on the picnic table?” He asked. “Yeah, that would be nice.” I answered. Then I added, “Come on hurry up! I want to suck that cock!” He laughed at me and we walked up to the picnic table. He sat up on the table. I sat on the bench and opened my mouth and took in that nice hard delicious cock and sucked it hard. Mmm, my lover has one tasty cock! I felt that steel like shaft with the silky smooth skin sliding across my tongue as the swollen head worked its way into my throat. Oh how I love to have a mouthful of cock! It’s the best!

From Desireous.

I can totally relate to hating being alone. I get missing the comfort of a lover’s touch.

But I do not at all get this:

Is it just me, or is this a Frankenstein-meets-Muppets mashup that’s gone horribly wrong? “Horribly wrong” as in, “Where are the man-bits, dammit?”

But if you’re into that kind of thing, you can buy one of these things here.