|
|
The Sex Blog Of Record
ErosBlog posts containing "sex toys"
December 22nd, 2019 -- by Bacchus
Many a man has enjoyed the fantasy of finding a sexy naked lady wrapped up in a present under his Christmas tree. I wonder, though, how lazy a man has to be for his mind to come up with “…and wouldn’t it be awesome if she unwrapped herself from inside the package? And if she was riding a sex machine at the time? So she had a long series of orgasms while I watched, but I didn’t have to lift a finger?”
Lazy or not, that precise fantasy was the holiday bonus update scenario offered by Fucking Machines a decade ago, back in 2009. The self-unwrapping, helplessly self-orgasming gift girl was Cherry Torn. Fucking Machines is these days a channel at Kink Unlimited.
Similar Sex Blogging:
June 30th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
I got a funny feeling of deja vu when I stumbled across the image above. I couldn’t think why, exactly, considering that I was fairly sure I’d never seen that particular illustration featuring two women enthusiastically renewing “their old friendship.”
The mystery nagged at me until bedtime. But when I woke up the next day, the answer to the puzzle was in my head, as sometimes happens. In my youth, when I was too much the callow virgin to understand just how dirty-old-man weird the whole thing was, I greatly enjoyed a science-fiction reflection on immortality called Time Enough For Love by Robert Heinlein. One of the pithy observations of that book’s central character, Lazarus Long, is the following:
“Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it’s more sanitary.”
Don’t let yourself be unduly distracted by the germ-phobic misogyny encoded in that claim. (Even in his far-future literary context, the immortal Lazarus Long was supposed to be an unreconstructed throwback fossil of a man from Earth’s dark ages, aka our times.) The idea of sex as a friendly thing, as a thing friends do, is one of many themes explored in Time Enough For Love. And at the time I first read the book, it was a more controversial, or at least novel, notion than it is today.
In my adolescent imagination, as reinforced by the culture around me, sex was a matter of passion, lust, urgency … but of friendship? Not so much! The notions of “friends with benefits” and the practice of casual hooking up surely existed, but they weren’t culturally visible in the way that the internet has made them today. Dating services existed, but they were for finding a wife, or at the very least a potential long term relationship; nobody would have dreamed of naming one Adult Friend Finder. Other services existed, too, for satisfying more instant urges; but although a phone call to one of them might produce many wonderful things, friendship most definitely was not on the list of services provided!
It’s now been mumble-umph decades since I first saw the “sex should be friendly” exhortation in Time Enough For Love. That’s nothing! Certainly it’s not the couple of millennia of experience claimed by the notional narrator who notionally exhorted. It’s not even enough to catch me up — not by a decade or two yet! — with the age Heinlein must have been when he first wrote the friendly-sex notion down on paper. But it’s long enough to have seen some things, and to have done some things, and to have consumed untold millions of words of commentary by other folk.
Has anything I’ve seen or done changed my mind about the essential wisdom of keeping your sexual encounters friendly? Nope, nope, and nope! That’s not to say that they can’t also be filthy and perverted or whatever-the-hell you like, but it’s been my observation that for most of us, sex is first and foremost a difficult thing: an enterprise with high transaction costs, a transaction not lightly negotiated. If you’re going to go to all that fucking effort, you might as well spend the time in camaraderie with your partner-in-lust!
Art in this post is by Erich von Götha.
April 3rd, 2019 -- by Bacchus
They say it’s not so easy, even with the internet on your side, to find a dominatrix when you need one. Oh, sure, there are sites for dominatrix dating, and that definitely helps. My first answer to any “How do I find…” question of romance or lust in 2019 is always “turn to the internet!” and the more specialized the question, the more emphatic I am about giving that same answer.
Internet dating and female dominance, though, are a pair of concepts that are fraught with potential pitfalls and confusion. There are no facile solutions, no silver bullets, no easy answers. The seeker must merely educate himself and forge onward in optimism, with honesty and empathy and realism.
A truth: “Dominatrix” is a word most often used by dominant women who are dominant as a paid professional service. But it’s by no means a 100% thing. People seeking non-commercial romantic relationships, or quick kinky sex hookups, can and do use the word too.
A truth: No online dating site in the USA can legally hook you up with a commercial dominatrix. But by the same token, no dating site can 100% screen them out, because how would they? So you may not know at first, when you make an online contact, if it’s social or commercial. Be clear about what you’re looking for. But don’t be rude about what you don’t want!
When it comes to finding dominant women online, I’ve heard rumors — and seen some unpleasant evidence — of a phenomenon that seems to occupy the space halfway between a scam and a highly-specialized fetish. I’m referring to the so-called “findom” or “financial domination” hustle. Now, I’ll never say a word against honest hardworking fee-for-service in-person dominatrixes. But the online-only findom types don’t seem entirely like upright citizens to me. From what I can tell, sometimes the extraction of money from their “clients” is the only domination service they provide. I’d say at least: be sure of your fetish before you get mixed up with them. Be sure that giving away scads of money (for, basically, nothing) is going to make you feel happy. Then, sure, you do you!
The cartoon above applies to any new kinky dating situation, really. Don’t let yourself get pressured into fulfilling somebody else’s complicated fantasy before you’re sure that you’re also into it. There’s plenty of time to go slow. Try jumping through the hoop a few times before you agree to let her set it on fire. There’s no need to wear the tiger suit on the first date. You get the idea.
And this cartoon? It flips the lesson back onto you. If you find somebody willing to play out your wild fantasies with you, maybe don’t push her too far or too fast. She might lose interest before she’s even done unpacking your toybox!
Now, get out there and have fun…
February 1st, 2019 -- by Bacchus
One of the many treasures in the Internet Archive is an 1878 Parisian edition of a 1668 medical text on — apparently — enema gear such as the clyster and its appropriate uses: L’instrument de Molière; traduction du traité De clysteribus de Regnier de Graaf. I say “treasure” because this book is whimsically illustrated with enthusiastic and determined enema putti drawn by one Gédéon Guerre. When these grim little men come for you, there’s no use hiding. You may as well prepare your anus!
Postscript: Are you perhaps looking at these cute little flappy-winged fatsos and wondering at my choice of the word “putti” because to you, they look like cherubs? This Wikipedia entry may help. Before the chubby little winged putto figure became conflated with the sacred Biblical cherubim, the use of putti in art is said to have been limited to symbolic representations of profane passions. And what passion could possibly be more profane than the one illustrated here?
Similar Sex Blogging:
October 12th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
For the next 10 or so days, The Stockroom is running an extra 30% sale on the already-discounted items on its perpetually-running Outlet Sale, which is where it clearances overstocks and items that are soon to vanish forever from the catalog. The extra 30% discount doesn’t show in the prices when you click these links; the discounts you see there are the “regular” Outlet Sale discounts. The 30% additional discounts show up automatically in your shopping cart:
July 26th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
I wanted to read this article by sex educator and burlesque performer Fancy Feast about her time working in sex toy sales because she billed it on social media as “a rant about sex positivity under capitalism” which is at least a little bit in the ErosBlog wheelhouse. It’s a good and wide-ranging article, too; you should go read it. I’m not even going to attempt to summarize, characterize, bloviate, or respond.
I do, however, want to highlight one paragraph of imagery that holed me below the waterline. We may think that we’ve come a long way in terms of gender equality, but socially? Naw. She’s talking about a point in her career where she was head of educational programming for the sex-positive sex toy store she worked for, mostly selling blow job workshops. But even though people would ask for cunnilingus workshops, they couldn’t sell enough tickets for the classes to make. She explains that most of the classes for the blowjob workshops were women who had been somehow convinced they need BJ skills to get and keep a man. Then she points out that women also worry about the oral sex they receive. But do men worry about giving it? It’s not a question she tries to answer per se, but what she does say is telling:
I try to imagine a bachelor party coming into the store for a celebratory cunnilingus event, the groom-to-be adorned in a crown of stylized, glittery cunts. Each man gingerly entering the room, wrapping a hand around a complimentary craft beer for the comfort of a familiar object. Each of them nervous that there is some secret out there to pussy eating that the other men aren’t telling, each of them worried that their girlfriends and wives or Tinder dates will leave them for someone who sucks clit better. I imagine each participant – the groom’s brother, his fiancé’s best guy friend, his cousins – adorned with vulva necklaces, sucking on ripe peaches and juicy mangoes, sitting on foldout chairs in a room of men, howling with laughter and cheering each other on as they practice tongue techniques. Thinking about this makes my heart ache.
Yeah. That’s like, so not happening. By which I mean, of course, that in my calcified imagination I can’t see it happening in what remains of my lifetime. Although it’s also true that we live in an age of wonders, and I am astonished every day…
Similar Sex Blogging:
February 2nd, 2018 -- by Bacchus
If the notion of this Heart Anal Trainer Kit puts little hearts in your eyes (or wherever), this is the toy for you!
The Heart Anal Trainer Kit includes three butt plugs that come in different sizes (small, medium, and large) and is perfect for both beginners that want to ease into anal exploration, and for advanced players that want to add more variety to their collection. Lightweight and comfortable, the buttplugs in this kit have tapered tips and are made of pure silicone with a satin-smooth texture that makes insertion a breeze and allow for extended wear. The red heart gem at the base of each plug adds a sexy and playful mood to complete the scene. Perfect for any occasion, the Heart Anal Trainer Kit adds lustfully erotic sensations to play time!
Similar Sex Blogging:
|
|
