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Buff Hello Kitty

Sunday, June 30th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Hello Kitty has really bulked up since the last time I saw her! I never knew she was a muscle mommy:

weightlifting Hello Kitty in a tight sports bra

The sticker was spotted for sale in Toronto by mcc.

I must now confess that “muscle mommy” is a new phrase in my inventory. After checking to confirm my shallow understanding of it, I found myself typing “are muscle mommies lesbian-coded” into Google. And that, my friends, is not a question that 2024’s AI-infected ad-tech-enabled search engines are willing or able to answer for me.

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Muscular Beauty

Sunday, August 2nd, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Do you like your women so buff they could snap you like a twig? Meet Jill Rudison, IFBB Pro Physique Competitor, courtesy of Land Of Venus:

female body builder Jill Rudison

female body builder jill rudison nude and naked

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Plastic Made Flesh

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Here are just a few paragraphs from Maggie Mayhem’s poetic and insightful Getting Real About Strap-Ons. I certainly learned more about what “doin’ it right” ought to look and feel like than ever I got from viewing random bits of thoughtless porn:

I’ll have strapped myself into the 117-step process that rivals that of the skydiving process, slid nothing but “The Cadillac Of Cock” into the ring, checked my hips, checked my dong, turned around to make sure the butt part was right (cause sometimes that gets criss-crossed and you should start over because it will chaff) and I realize that I’m totally ready to go. It’s time. It is totally time for me to the one in charge of the thrusting and the pacing and the entry and the stuff astronauts worry about pretty much.

And then the moment when you stop and make your best Prince face in the mirror with a sideways stare as you move to grab your member firmly for the first time. It’s like the final step to fully complete the animation process. It starts out at first as a novel feature, something to be giggled at with delight as the laws of physics are studied experimentally. But then, when you remember the task at hand, you have to ignite magic and pull the startup cord up in the brain.

That all happens when you clench your fist around that dick and turn your strap-on on. And maybe that silliness comes from digging back into your brain for those same muscles that turned cardboard boxes into pirate ships and sticks into swords and you were so good you could feel salty air on your cheeks indoors in a landlocked place.

I’ll show you transubstantiation.

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Thinking About A Shave

Friday, May 5th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Farmboyz seems to put a lot of thought into his shaving:

I left the bedroom without answering him. I began to collect what I would need, and that included my thoughts about doing this. Within seconds of his request, I had decided that shaving Jamie would not be much of a turn-on for me, but that I did love seeing the way passion wracked his slender body, making his back arch like the flare of a sunspot, and causing the shaking muscles of his legs to knot. With this in mind, I was curious to see what heightened reactions this ritual might produce. He was calling me from the bed.

“Just a minute. I’m getting some stuff together for this.”

I opened the linen closet and collected my favorite faded soft blue towel in the folds of which you may hear the ocean. In the bathroom, a fresh double-edged Good News razor and a can of mentholated Gillette Foamy. I would need a bowl of water, and once I had selected that bowl and filled it, there would be nothing left to delay my return to the bedroom. I stood in the pantry, fussing over this decision.

I thought about the young man in my bed who was calling my name. I felt as if I were about to be admitted into the last room of him, and that once I had inspected its contents, I’d be slipping out the back door, with no farewells, and with no intention of returning. Jamie might remain with me for days or weeks longer, but there would be distance between us that he would not notice.

I stretched to reach a high shelf, pulling down an old stoneware bowl, the bottom of which was incised with “Ruckel’s Pottery, 1870, White Hall, Ill.” It was glazed with the same cornflower blue of the towel. Men with eyes of this color can own me if they wish. Jamie’s eyes were this color.

pretty blue shaving bowl

I wondered what the previous owners of this bowl would feel about its imminent employment. Sensible women of the heartland. Daughters of the pioneers, preparing simple food grown on their plains, gently hand washing this bowl for decades, keeping it bright and flawless. I saw them with their hands folded in their laps, seated on small chairs in a circle around the bed, around Jamie, who is smiling up at me as I return to the bedroom, his knees drawn up to his chin and his dick drooping like a sprig of lilac onto the dark sheets.

But don’t he write purty?

 
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