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The Sex Blog Of Record
Wednesday, June 12th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
You know what they say: friends don’t let friends endure anal frustration.
No, wait: I’m being informed that nobody actually does say that. Well, if not, they totally should!
Photos are from Bestie Butt-Stuffing at Kink.com.
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Thursday, November 4th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
Your finger, your tongue, your dick if that’s how you dangle — I’m sure they are all very fine. You deploy them with cleverness and skill. You have, proverbially, not had any complaints.
But you should be honest with yourself. Female sexual pleasure can be a tricky business. Orgasms can be elusive for anybody. And they are not all created equal. There’s a spectrum from quick convulsion to wracking full-body exaltation. In extreme cases, she squirts so much she requires urgent rehydration. And that’s where the honesty comes in: how many of the most extreme orgasms you’ve witnessed had a sex toy involved somewhere in the process of production? I think, when you tally your sums, you’ll acknowledge that the right sex toy is your orgasmic ally and not, as a few of the most foolish men believe, some sort of plastic competitor.
I’m a big believer in the idea that men should buy, have, and deploy sex toys, for the maximization of their own and their partners’ pleasure. It’s not exactly an ordeal; online shopping is a thing these days, and you’ve got a huge choice of sex toy offerings at sites like Mega Pleasure. I mean, why would you not?
In the many years I’ve been sex blogging, squirting orgasms (female ejaculation, if you’re stuffy) has been mentioned, discussed, and analyzed from a number of different perspectives. From various anecdotes, it has become clear that the question “how much stimulation is too much?” is usually answered from a gendered perspective. Men — we lazy beasts — have often spoken up with the opinion that powerful vibrating toys are like comedian Tim Allen’s legendary power tools — no matter how good they are, they’d be better with a little more power. Women are more likely to view this attitude as sadistic — which to be fair it sometimes literally is.
“If a little bit’s good, a whole lot’s better” is all fun and games until it’s your tender membranes getting wildly vibrated. At that point, like all good sex, it becomes highly situational. Variations in anatomy, mood, preference, and for all I know, barometric pressure? All these variables make it impossible to generalize. But at the end of the day, I am a man. I’ve possessed and enjoyed the use of many sex toys that seemed underpowered to me, and no small few powerful ones too. Given the choice, I’m convinced more genuinely is better.
Image credits from top to bottom: The face-down ass-up rabbit-vibe squirting orgasm is from the adult game Jikage Rising by Smiling Dog. The lesbian squirt session featuring fingers and a strap-on dildo is by Mavoly. The post-orgasmic bullet vibe user lying exhaustedly in a pool of her own squirt is by Diamond_Arrow. The notably-flexible blonde who is eagerly watching herself squirt is by Daz-Da-Way. The woman screaming through a vibrator-forced orgasm is by Kaiota. And the woman pleasuring herself with a powerful vibrator is by Momono Mushroom.
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Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
There’s more than one use for a wireless gaming controller, especially if it’s got a little bit of that haptic feedback “rumble” built into it:
Our anal-fingering squirting-orgasm gamer girl appears to be as good at getting off as she is at delivering headshots. Here’s to skillz!
Artwork is by Vincentccart in a comic called The Videogame.
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Thursday, April 15th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
It’s raining at my house, so the timing seems good for this April Showers sale from Kink Unlimited. Discounts up to 60%, the warm pitter-patter of spring rain falling everywhere, what’s not to like?
That said, this .gif banner made me wonder: why isn’t there a squirting-orgasms porn star prodigy out there using the name “April Showers” to market her stuff? Well, it turns out there is (or was) but she seem to have done most of her work in the mature and pro-amateur niches. (It’s been a while, but HotMovies still has a few of her porn movies available.) Sadly, she never seems to have done a shoot for Kink Unlimited or for any of the vast network of porn partners that they distribute. (I did check.)
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Wednesday, June 20th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
The lady appears to like her squirted cream!
I originally had a very large (almost 10MB!) .gif playing in this post, but serving it for everyone was making my server sweat too much. So now I’m just going to link it here for people who want to see it and are willing to clicky the linky.
Thanks to Anon in the comments for identifying the source as a 1935 cartoon The Cookie Carnival.
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Thursday, October 22nd, 2015 -- by Bacchus
“Damn, girl, just how long did they keep you chained on top of that Sybian riding vibrator? And how many times did you squirt?”
Pictures are from the most recent (October 21) update at Sexually Broken.
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Friday, January 23rd, 2015 -- by Bacchus
Everybody loves a freaky librarian, but this? This may be going too far:
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Saturday, January 10th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
If you tie up an orgasmic woman like Daisy Ducati and then do sustained-but-pleasurable cruelties unto her with a heavy vibrator, you might be well advised to wear rain gear, or maybe carry an umbrella. Why?
Because she really is a gusher.
Volume, altitude, loft — this woman has it all!
That image link is from TopGrl.com. And here’s evidence that wearing latex clothing during athletic sex can be a very sweaty affair:
Fans of perspiring women, today I am with you!
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Thursday, October 2nd, 2008 -- by Bacchus
I freely admit to being wholly ignorant about the anatomical details of human lactation, knowing only that, under appropriate circumstances, there can be milk, and that glands and ducts are involved. As a guy who has never been a father, I figure the details are not my department.
That said, when I stumbled over this fetish lactation picture among the cover art on a Japanese DVD, I was somewhat startled to note that in this picture (and in every other picture on the box) milk was being expressed in numerous divergent streams:
What’s up with that? I guess I always assumed, you know, basic bilateral symmetry, two boobs, two nipples, two ducts, two quirts of milk, two cups of coffee. That hard-working right nipple up there is pumping out, what, four squirts and a dribble?
I could Google it, but it’s easier and more fun just to say something ignorant on the internets and wait for all the helpful people to come along and set me straight…
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Sunday, February 10th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
Remember this vintage blowjob? Well, I’m pretty sure this picture from Vintage Lust is from the same series or photoset:
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Sunday, January 20th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
Apparently there was just a big porn convention in Vegas, and Gawker Media was there. You may know Gawker Media for its several stylish blog titles, but it’s Fleshbot you’ll be most familiar with as an ErosBlog reader. Well, now I’ve been introduced to one of their newer titles, which also looks very promising indeed. Here now via Jezebel is Jezebel editor Tracie “Slut Machine” Egan’s Last Night I Boned An AVN Award Nominee, complete with “pictures or STFU” proof in the form of her triumphal hickie photograph:
They had this dude — the one I blew for a little bit in the bathroom — who was very easy to convince to come back to my hotel with me.
…
Back in the hotel, I decided I could use another drink (I really didn’t need it at all), and the dude I brought back with me said he wanted french fries, so we went to the Grand Lux Cafe (which is like the same thing as Cheesecake Factory) in the casino of the Venetian. We didn’t even touch what we ordered. We just drunkenly made out hardcore in the booth, and then I put my hand under the napkin on his lap and started jerking him off. Nobody blinked an eye. People weren’t even looking at us. When I remembered for a minute that I was in public and came up for air, I looked around and saw that people were too immersed in their own 3 AM dramas played out over extra large servings of fried food. One lady was crying next to a tight-jawed man, who was looking anywhere but at her face. The middle-aged gay couple next to us were arguing over whether to share or get their own meals. And the waiters were just happy that we weren’t bothering them with requests.
The dude put his dick back in his pants, we got the check and went back up to my room. (I’m sharing it with Jonno and Dash from Fleshbot.) We have an awesome suite; there are two beds and a sofa bed. Since I was the last one home, I got the sofa bed in the living room area, but that was fine for my purposes. Me and the dude went into the bathroom (I don’t have a picture of it, but it’s pretty grand) and just went at it. He lifted me onto the marble counter top. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, koala-bear style, and he fucked the shit out of me. He ruled and his dick was nice. I told him that he should maybe consider working in front of the camera instead of behind it.
We stayed in there for a little bit more and he finger banged me. I ended up squirting all over the damn place — which hasn’t happened to me in what seems like ages. It was shooting out sideways and shit, getting on both of our legs. I’m always a little afraid for that to happen in front of dudes, ’cause it’s such a fucking mess sometimes, but he seemed to be really into it.
Then we went to the sofa bed and I had every intention of falling asleep and not fooling around (the boys were just like 10 or 20 feet away), but he kept kissing me, and he was really too cute to turn down. I ended up blowing him again, and then he came on my tits. What the hay! We’re in Vegas!
We passed out, but I think I was only sleeping for like an hour before I felt his boner pressing up on my ass again. I pushed back, and before I knew it, we were spoon-fucking. Seriously, this guy is more of a machine than I am. I woke up in the morning with this:
I was kinda pissed about it. I’m not thirteen, you know. But Jonno put it into perspective for me when he said, “Consider yourself lucky that you fucked someone at the porn convention and all you got was a hickey.”
Sunday, May 13th, 2007 -- by Bacchus
If you’ve seen Warm Water Under A Red Bridge, you’ll know the Japanese understand their shio.
If you haven’t, you’ll be going “Shio? What’s shio?”
Apparently, that was Momo’s question also. Fleshbot has a skilled cross-cultural operative to explain it all to us:
Fleshbot operative KokuRyu … reports:
“I came across an unknown Japanese word today in a YouTube video that appeared to be a high school chemistry lesson conducted by a sexy Japanese porn startlet named Momo (Peaches) wearing nothing but a frilly pink bra, perhaps from Peach John.
“I knew the word, shio, means “tide” or “salt water” in Japanese. But what was the shio in the glass beaker? I asked my wife, who’s Japanese. Instead of getting angry with me for looking at porn, Mrs. KokuRyu smirked and said, ‘It’s when a woman, goes puri puri, like the spout of a whale. You know, shio fuki. It’s when a woman squirts.’
“Suddenly the YouTube clip made sense! Glowing with post-orgasmic serenity, Peaches admires the clear liquid–her liquid — collected in the beaker. Peaches then decides to analyze her shio. She sniffs it, reports it doesn’t smell, and proceeds to tests its consistency; Peaches says her shio feels silky smooth. When litmus paper is produced, shio is determined to have alkaline properties.
“Next, gripping an elaborate, slightly phallic spoon, Peaches measures the salt content of her shio. Apparently, it’s less than 0.6%. Peaches then delicately inserts her slender index finger, moistened slightly with the liquid contents of the petri dish, between her lips. She finds that shio is basically tasteless, and not a little slimy. Peaches concludes by saying she enjoyed the opportunity to investigate her shio.
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Friday, October 27th, 2006 -- by Bacchus
As long time readers will remember, whenever the subject of female ejaculation comes up, we hear from people wedded to their belief that female ejaculation is a myth and that female ejaculate is “just pee”. As I said last time, “Erosblog is NOT going to be a forum for spreading sexual ignorance and doubt on this topic.”
For any lingering doubters among my readership, however, I submit a couple of posts from Giardino del Piacere: Wet Emails and More Wet Emails. Lots of intimate details from women who have no reason to dissemble:
First, I’d love everyone to know, normal women like Eva and me ejaculate. I can’t speak for Eva, but I’m no porn star. I’m a woman rapidly approaching menopause. I have history, boobs that sag some, squishy thighs and a drooping bottom. Nope, not porn star material at all, but I can sure squirt like one.
Second, I believe and as she indicated in her messages, Eva believes, that any woman can learn to ejaculate. It takes only a willingness to let go when the urge to ‘let go’ hits. If you’ve ever experienced a screaming urge to pee while having great sex or bringing yourself pleasure, you are probably a squirter waiting to be born. You’re never too old or young to learn. Eva has a long history of ejaculating, mine is something I’ve discovered within the past year.
Third, squirting not a bad or dirty thing. It is not urine. No, I’m not a physiologist or a physician. I’m the owner of the coochie that drenches the bed. At my age, I truly know the difference between urinating and the sensations I have when I ejaculate. Often I have to visit the bathroom shortly after sex. Logic tells me if I were urinating and not squirting I would have relieved myself.
Friday, December 9th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
Chelsea Girl from Pretty Dumb Things has the tale of her first squirting experience, done in the style of a breathless young girl’s diary, complete with Hello Kitty graphics, colored ink, and stacked exclamation points:
dear diary,
i have something soooooooooo exciting to tell you!!!!
last night, when i & donny were together (& by together i mean doing it, and you know what i mean don’t you) i squirted!!!!
i know!!!!!
i can’t believe it either!!!!
It’s long and funny and well worth your time.
P.S. Anybody who posts “It’s just pee” (or sentiments of that ilk) in the comments will be rounded up in front of the audience and made to endure derisive shouts of “Virgin! Virgin!” We’re so not having that high school argument here. If you’ve been there, you know better. If you haven’t, please shut the hell up kay thanks.
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004 -- by Bacchus
A conversational fragment:
“I don’t squirt.”
“Very sorry to hear that…here’s a towel, your nipples are shivering.”
Not quite what it sounds like, but almost. From Last Man Dancing.
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