August 26th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
The Future Of Warfare (If Only)
“Grandpa, what did you do, during the mud wars?”
I didn’t make this meme-pic, but I can’t source it accurately either.
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The Sex Blog Of Record
August 22nd, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Pens, For Her
There’s a real product (made by a real company) currently available on Amazon in a pack of 12. It’s the “BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen” and how do we know it’s “for her?” Why, it’s “designed to fit comfortably in a womans hand” (sic) and it’s got an “attractive barrel design available in pink and purple.”
Needless to say, the reviews are positive (and hilarious). Like this one:
This product cured my girly dyslexia.
Before I bought this product I couldn’t write but now I’m an engineer. Mind you, I only design pink, flowery bridges, motorways and sewers. Blue ones would be wrong wouldn’t they.
Or this one:
Sent from Heaven by the Angels
I could never write until now because I’m such a thick little Princess that I refused to. I just drew pictures of my pink little bike, with the lilac streamers. I thought I’d just grow up and let a big manly man come and marry/save me.
Now I’ve found this pen, I’ve learned to write. It’s so pretty, with its comfortable grip, not like the razor like surface on ordinary mens pens. It will help me list all my household chores and record my calorie consumption in my diary. Who knows? Maybe it will give me the confidence to take the stabilisers off my bike.
Or even this one, which makes the pen sound like something you’d find at Figging.com:
Such a useful little tool (and that’s not just a description of the man in charge of the marketing campaign)
How could I have missed my own deep inner need for such a product? It’s just perfect for ramming straight up the hogs’ eye of any sexist man I happen to be oppressed by – no more Tabasco-dipped nasty old medical catheters for the misogynists in my life!
There are many, many more. (Ain’t no fleshpile in the world like the piling-on a determinedly stupid product can get in the Amazon reviews.)
August 21st, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Some Thoughts By A Clit-Licking Wanker
From a column even smarter and saner than this paragraph:
My point is there’s nothing “dirty”, “perverse” or “deviant” about masturbation or clit-licking. A brain as powerful and sophisticated as mine can’t just be cold-booted in the morning, and masturbation is one of the best ways to fill the long minutes that elapse between the first signs of consciousness and the ability to crawl and signal basic emotions to others. Indeed, wanking is a powerful motivator — there’s only so long you can lie clutching a handful of your own sperm before disgust overwhelms laziness and forces you to the bathroom. Similarly, clit-licking is a relaxing and efficient pursuit that requires little more than lying on your back, letting a lady sit on your face, and trying to avoid suffocation.
That’s Martin Robbins, writing in New Statesman.
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August 19th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
10 Years Of Sex Blogging: Best Of ErosBlog 2005
It’s been three months since the last “Best of ErosBlog” installment. That was 2004; previously we saw 2003 and 2002. At this rate I might get one or two more done before the genuine 10 year anniversary in October.
2005 went down like this:
- We encountered sexual multitasking of a particularly impressive kind, in the form of a gentlemen who could simultaneously bone his woman and peel his figging ginger: Peeling Root Vegetables During Sex
- Pac Man’s endless ghost chase got re-imagined as a rough sort of seduction: Pac Man On Viagra
- I reluctantly had to abandon my status as the last man in America who thought Halle Berry’s Catwoman movie wasn’t so bad: Halle Berry, Screw You Too
- We found an anecdote about the time Catherine McKinnon picked the wrong audience to talk to about the alleged horrors of deep throating: Putting Catherine McKinnon in Her Place
- The vocabulary of privilege was not so mainstream back in 2005, or I would have termed this an example of unselfconscious female privilege: The World Is Different For Men And Women
- I’m going to slide this in here just because it’s the first time (only time?) I ever had occasion to mention my sister on ErosBlog. Also, nice mental image of Penelope Cruz, duct tape: Marriage: The Shit Changes
- This might still be my all-time favorite vintage oral sex picture: Oral Sex For The Happy Woman
- I got to thinking just a little bit too hard about the making of a visually-arresting bondage photo: Astonishing Bondage Photo
- Making light of alternative-religion sexual practices is generally not something I’d put in my “Best of” category; I do the “ha ha loonies” sometimes, but I’m not sure it’s ever as funny as it seems at the time. Nonetheless, I stand behind this post title as worthy: The Holy Handkerchief of Cum-Saving
- It is always dangerous to let other people caption your art: Here Comes Johnny With His Pecker In His Hand
- Was it really only seven years ago that Dan Savage had to lay down the law about oral sex? Sometimes I forget just how fast this culture is moving! Oral Sex Is Standard Equipment
- Sometimes just finding a thing is the sex blogging victory. Example: this account of anal sex with a coughing wife: Whooping Cough Sex
- Speaking of how fast the culture has moved: it was also just seven years ago that a website by an American porn producer that mixed actual bondage and actual sex was a surprising, nearly-unprecedented thing: Sex And Submission
- A rare childhood reminiscence from me, in which I recollect having to explain dildos to a grown-up: “What’s A Dildo?”
- Of all the things I’ve written on ErosBlog over the years, this disquisition on the ethics of being a porn consumer is perhaps my second-favorite: Evil Porn Werewolf Enslavers Debunked
- I argued against the wearing of clothes in bed. It got a LOT of comments: Lame Reasons For Wearing Clothes In Bed
- A very vivid image: Four Lips, Two Cherries
- The dirtiest picture I’ve ever published on ErosBlog, I think: Dirty Picture
- The comment thread on this post was where I first found out just how many people are scared of the idea of female ejaculation and would like to pretend it’s not a thing: Diary of A Squirter
- A post about why so many internet comments about erotic photography are body-negative and body-critical: Crapping All Over Beauty
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August 17th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Three Busty Burglars
“Drop the lingerie and come out with your hands up!”
Police work isn’t usually this much fun, but apparently it has its moments:
From Busty.pl.
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August 15th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Naked Hitchhiking: It Never Fails
You’d be hard pressed (er…) to drive on by, too:
The nude hitcher is Leila Smith from ALS Angels.
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August 14th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Woman Getting An Anal Tattoo: “It Feels So Good!”
Sadly it’s been lightly censored, but this video of a woman getting an anal tattoo at a tattoo expo should still impress:
Pay no mind to the craptastic reaction shots accumulated by the news camera team. The woman herself is loud, proud, and fearless. Possibly also foolish? And maybe a little drunk? Not for me to say. But she’s grabbing life with both hands, that’s for sure!
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