This Pipe Sucks Ass
Saturday, January 13th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Apparently this ass-sucking pot pipe was an article of commerce in finer headshops near you back in 2008 or so:
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The Sex Blog Of Record
Location, Location, Nice Ass
Friday, May 27th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
The old house down on Dunes Road looks a little weather-beaten. Or, OK, maybe a lot weather-beaten. Certainly it needs some shingles and a coat of paint. But when she saw it, she had to buy it, because it’s really handy to the nude beach:
The shot is by photographer Scott Church.
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Her Top Secret Ass
Wednesday, May 11th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
At this very moment somebody in official Washington is reading this blog, looking the “Top Secret” tattoo on the woman’s ass, and thinking “Oh, if only it were that easy!”
The cartoon is by Brian Savage, from a 1970s Playboy.
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Suddenly, Sports Fan
Sunday, September 1st, 2019 -- by Bacchus
I’m not a sports fan, but… eh what’s that you say? Women’s volleyball? Sure, I could watch that:
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Swimming With Vikki Dougan
Saturday, December 8th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
A sheer white evening dress may not be the perfect swimming attire. But when you’re Vikki Dougan, who famously inspired the Limeliters to write a folk song about her ass cleavage, it will certainly serve. No extra charge for the free pussy flash:
The photos date to the 1950s. Here’s the song:
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Crackers In The Flavor Of A Tasty Ass
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018 -- by Bacchus
If you must eat crackers that taste like ass, we pray for your sake that the ass they taste like is a tasty one:
The sordid truth, of course, is that this is just another case of the algorithm taking matters out of the hands of the the underpaid and semi-literate workers, as with the Summa Cum Laude cake that the Publix online ordering system refused to sell to a proud momma a few days ago because it had the “profane” word “cum” in it. These are Tastyâ„¢-brand “assorted” crackers, and the machine that prints out the Managers [sic] Special sale placards has some algo that says something like “two lines, eight to ten characters per line, lines must be the same length, truncate the end of whichever line you have to to make the lines match.” It’s very possible that a shift “manager” is supposed to review and approve a stack of these placards every morning when they roll hot from the printer, but the half-hour hassle to implement and redo a changed placard is not going to blip the biweekly automated productivity review in any kind of positive way, so why bother? Do you think a regional or a district manager is ever going to go down the ass-cracker aisle?
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Brigitte Bardot’s Amazing Ass
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2018 -- by Bacchus
Although I am always leery of attributions like this that I haven’t checked out carefully for myself (and this time, I haven’t), this is said to be a rear view (and what a rear! what a view!) of Brigitte Bardot on the set of Vie Privée, in Rome, in 1961:
This calls for a closer inspection, don’t you think?
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This Train Smells Like Ass
Friday, August 18th, 2017 -- by Bacchus
This .gif is via Spanking Blog, where it’s said to be
…from a Japanese porn movie in the Time Fuck Bandits series, featuring a magical stopwatch that lets its possessors stop time somewhat locally. People around them become as helpless mannequins, with results you see here.
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An Ass Full Of Gold
Wednesday, September 21st, 2016 -- by Bacchus
This post is about a story out of Canada regarding the criminal trial of a man accused of smuggling a metric buttload of pure gold out of the Royal Canadian Mint. But as you read this story, remember that it’s entirely based on speculation and circumstantial evidence. The Royal Canadian Mint never noticed any missing gold, they don’t know if there even is any gold missing, and our man was never actually caught with any gold in his actual butt:
An employee of the Royal Canadian Mint allegedly smuggled about $180,000 in gold from the fortress-like facility, possibly evading multiple levels of detection with a time-honoured prison trick.
Hiding the precious metal up his bum.
All they really know is that he worked in the Mint and was selling a lot of gold:
Court was told that, on multiple occasions, Lawrence took small circular chunks of gold – a cookie-sized nugget called a “puck” – to Ottawa Gold Buyers in the Westgate Shopping Centre on Carling Avenue.
Typically, the pucks weighed about 210 grams, or 7.4 ounces, for which he was given cheques in the $6,800 range, depending on fluctuating gold prices, court heard. He then deposited the cheques at the Royal Bank in the same mall.
One day a teller became suspicious at the size and number of Ottawa Gold Buyers cheques being deposited and Lawrence’s request to wire money out of the country. She then noticed on his account profile that he worked at the Mint.
The “pucks” he sold were suspiciously similar to the pucks he worked with in the Mint:
The Crown was able to show the pucks precisely fit the Mint’s custom “dipping spoon” made in-house – not available commercially – that is used to scoop molten gold during the production process.
Lawrence, who has since been terminated, was an operator in the refinery section. Among his duties was to scoop gold from buckets so it could be tested for purity, as the Mint prides itself on gold coins above the 99 per cent level.
But how did he get them out of the mint? Could the Vaseline in his locker have been involved?
Court was told Lawrence set off the metal detector at an exit from the “secure area” with more frequency than any other employee – save those with metal medical implants. When that happened, the procedure was to do a manual search with a hand-held wand, a search that he always passed.
Investigators also found a container of vaseline in his locker and the trial was presented with the prospect that a puck could be concealed in an anal cavity and not be detected by the wand. In preparation for these proceedings, in fact, a security employee actually tested the idea, Barnes said.
Wait, what?
…a security employee actually tested the idea…
Yes, gentle reader, your wondering eyes do not deceive you. A security employee of the Royal Canadian Mint actually volunteered — or was ordered — to shove a greased seven-ounce puck of solid gold up his or her ass so that they could test the vital question of whether it could be detected by the hand-held metal detectors used for backup screening. I ask you, is that dedication to your job, or is that dedication to your job?
And further consider this: the “let’s test these wands” project had to be documented fairly well, or what’s the point of the exercise? Somewhere in the bowels (you will forgive this pun if you forgave the “metric buttload” characterization at the top of the post) of the Royal Canadian Mint, there is almost certainly video of a security guard waddling through a checkpoint with an extra half-a-pound of unaccustomed gravity in his or her stride while Canadian-polite co-workers try very hard to act like nothing abnormal is happening…
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Koonago Enema
Sunday, February 7th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Remember koonago? It’s the Japanese erotic art style that Bondage Blog describes as
The peculiar Japanese anime style artwork featuring miniature women [that] appears to be all about reducing the sexual threat or challenge of members of the opposite sex, by reducing them to a fantasy size where they are trivially easy to control.
I think that might be what’s going on here:
There’s a darker interpretation in which our koonago-master’s wee captive is being prepped for the specimen jar, but… let’s hope not.
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Punishing Mr. Sutton
Friday, August 14th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
I’m sure there must be a stern person among my readership who could be inspired to provide the discipline that is so obviously anticipated in this photograph:
BJ tells us that we’re looking at Colt model Mr. Sutton.
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Panties Invitational
Thursday, March 19th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
Is there a micro-fetish for panties with invitations written on them? Because if there is, I might have it:
Via Kinky Delight.
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Why Rich Men Buy Boats
Monday, May 5th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
And waterproof cameras, too:
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The Gnomes In Your Colon
Friday, May 24th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
This French laxatives ad from almost a hundred years ago is kinda terrifying. Little gnomes with scrub brushes will clean you right out!
Via Vintage Ads.
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Richard Feyman’s Stripper Drawings
Monday, May 13th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
My father, who briefly attended Cal Tech and took Richard Feynman’s freshman physics class, used to marvel at the man’s skill on the bongo drums. But I never knew before today that he was also a fairly talented artist of the female form, and used that skill to illustrate some of the strippers of his acquaintance:
We’re looking at Dancer at Gianonni’s Bar, 1968. From here, with this to accompany it:
He started drawing at the age of 44 in 1962, shortly after developing the visual language for his famous Feynman diagrams, after a series of amicable arguments about art vs. science with his artist-friend Jirayr “Jerry” Zorthian – the same friend to whom Feynman’s timeless ode to a flower was in response. Eventually, the two agreed that they’d exchange lessons in art and science on alternate Sundays. Feynman went on to draw – everything from portraits of other prominent physicists and his children to sketches of strippers and very, very many female nudes – until the end of his life.
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Department Of Bottom Inspection
Wednesday, June 13th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
What, you didn’t know that the Bottom Inspection Directorate was a uniformed agency? Comrade, the proper inspection of buttocks is a matter of crucial national security!
Picture has been ripped shamelessly from its context (which was some whipping porn from a video series called Russian Discipline.)
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The Ass Invitational
Tuesday, April 10th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Either she thinks she’s got a spanking coming, or she’s thinking something like this: “My boyfriend is an ass man, he’ll never be able to resist this ass in these undies in this pose!”
Potentially, she’s thinking both of those things at the same time, even.
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Advanced Porn Star Tip
Tuesday, October 25th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Or, how to make sure your ass is clean enough for the photoshoot, in two tweets by Cherry Torn:
@cherrytorn Doing the cigarette ass cleanliness test.
@cherrytorn If I can smoke a cigarette and not even water comes out, I know it’s done!
When I first saw this I thought she was talking about some circus vaudeville tent trick. “See the lady smoke a cigarette with her ass!” But no — apparently she’s smoking that butt in the regular way. She’s blogged about this in more detail here:
I flush my ass over and over until it SEEMS like it’s clean, then shower or do my hair/makeup and hopefully smoke a cigarette. I’m not a big smoker, but it really is a true test of ass cleanliness. I’ve learned over the years that my ass will ALWAYS try to fake me out. I just have to wait. Hence the need for time and more flushing.
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Why Kinky Rich Men Buy Boats
Friday, January 21st, 2011 -- by Bacchus
I’ve got a special kinky edition of the Why Rich Men Buy Boats series for you, courtesy of Kinky Delight:
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“I was helpless…I had to follow her.”
Monday, December 13th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
No red-blooded man in America could resist:
That’s Mary Louise Parker as she appeared in the August 2009 issue of Esquire magazine.
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Thick Booty Bondage
Friday, November 5th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
Here’s a novelty for you. When was the last time you saw a bondage model who actually had her some big thick booty and some curve to her?
Meet Kait Snow:
She recently did a shoot for Device Bondage that will thrill fans of the notable booty:
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Vintage Anal Raunch
Monday, August 16th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
A lot of vintage porn is “ho hum” because of changes in the times. Publication standards, camera technology and lighting, media and media preservation issues, shifting morals and taboos, it all combines to make great-grandfather’s porn seem pretty lame, tame, or boring … usually.
And then every now and then something like this bit of raunch from Vintage Lust will, if you’ll excuse the turn of phrase, pop up:
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Is Booty Bumping A Martial Art?
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
I ask, because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a pen-and-ink booty in greater need of being plundered:
From Comically Vintage.
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The Ginger Went Up Her Butt
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 -- by Bacchus
The shooting conditions and model treatment during the production of kinky porn has been a recurrent topic of discussion here at Eros Blog. From severe European caning videos (here and here) to purest San Francisco kink (here and here), what it’s like to be the “done unto” model is always interesting to hear about.
Thus I viewed with fascination a cautionary video published by Kink.com last month about an Everything Butt shoot that featured a ginger figging. The ginger plug vanished up the model’s butt (Figging.com says they may have carved it wrong) and we get to see how they handled it, with narration by the model.
It’s all very calm and professional, although the visuals may raise your hair — at one point in the video, they’ve got a huge metal anal-retractor device in her bottom and it put me in mind of that immortal lyric from the end of Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean:
“With jacks and timbers they started back down,
Then came a rumble, way down in the ground.
Smoke and gas belched out of that mine
and everybody knew it was the end of the line
for Big John.”
Fig-carving art is from the Figging.com blog post about the incident, which also has a lot of details from the video.
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Jessica Alba’s Ass
Monday, July 27th, 2009 -- by Bacchus
In which Jessica Alba swims with the fishes, in a very small bikini:
Screengrabbed from some nature show that went by on TNT.
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Everything Butt
Saturday, June 20th, 2009 -- by Bacchus
By now I’ve got something of a history of announcing new sites from Kink.com, so why stop now? The next in the pipeline is an ass-themed site called Everything Butt, which is already “up” with several shoots even though it won’t be formally open and live for a few more days. The site’s marketing copy makes it sound like a full buffet of fetish fun for anybody who enjoys playing with butts:
Everything Butt celebrates ass play in all its forms. Spanking, enemas, fisting, fucking, licking, and sniffing are performed by experienced porn stars and anal virgins too. These beautiful naked women all come to enjoy the smorgasbord of extreme anal antics under the skilled supervision of bondage master Lochai. It’s an exhilarating festival of analingus, Klismaphilia, and no-holds-barred buggery, scientifically designed to induce your expectant salivation. Do you “Yum!” for bum? Then dive in!
In looking over the new site the first thing that struck me was a delightful still photo from the preliminary “model interview” part of one of the shoots:
That’s the lovely and talented Bobbi Starr looking sanguine about those very large implements — and I use the word “talented” in a most considered fashion. (You’ll have to take my word for it unless you join the site or buy the shoot, but it’s true; for now, let me just say…they fit.)
Sadly the usual free sample galleries are not yet live, but I snagged a few pictures of a shower scene to share here. We begin with Aiden Starr and Flower Tucci taking an innocent shower together:
Note the scrunchy-thing! I always thought those were some sort of shower fungus that’s symbiotic with women, because they started accumulating in my bathroom (the scrunchy things, that is, not women) right after The Nymph moved in with me. But apparently, it’s for washing with. Who knew?
Moving on, the ladies decide to put on a little display of soapy bottoms:
And then we move on to the double-enema portion of our program. Apparently if you want to get really clean, showering together just isn’t enough any more:
And here’s the Everything Butt logo:
Nice, eh?
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A Vision In Red Latex
Friday, June 5th, 2009 -- by Bacchus
Anybody out there who is fond of latex? Because Madison Young is looking shiny and fine in this red and black number:
From this Men In Pain shoot.
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Catastrophic Ass Tattoos
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 -- by Bacchus
On a girl, these would be merely unfortunate:
2024 update: I look back on this post with bewilderment. I don’t recognize the guy who wrote it. Apparently, 2009 me (a) thought that these slightly-hairy ass cheeks were somehow determinative of the inked person’s gender; and (b) titrated my ridicule of body art differently by gender; and (c) believed it was OK to ridicule body art in the first place. (Unfortunately a great many of my early posts about tattoos incorporate that last malfunction.) I generally don’t delete or strongly edit old posts that I no longer feel good about, but if I did, this one would be for the chop.
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Peeling Root Vegetables During Sex
Monday, February 21st, 2005 -- by Bacchus
I realize that the casual reader is going to be distracted by the impending figging (“Ginger? Why’s he peeling ginger? Where’s it going?”), but to me the fantastic part of this post is the multi-tasking ability of the man in question. Here he’s managing to keep up the old in-out-in-out while doing a tricky task involving manual dexterity and a sharp implement:
This time I have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen. Something we’d been discussing for a while. He runs out to the living room and back, and returns to fucking me. However, this time he’s rearranged the garbage can, and is peeling a chunk of ginger at the same time…. Some ginger juice got dripped on my back, and it was just this nice pleasant sharp cold sensation, like rubbing alcohol on healthy skin. Soon that same sensation was in my crotch as he was fucking me. I remember being a little concerned about whether it would be hurting him or not, but mostly thinking that I was enjoying it. Soon the ginger was ready and he was pressing it against me.
From here via Figging.com.
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