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Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality
ErosBlog posts containing "rule 34"
June 4th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Dr. Marty Klein has been thinking hard about Rule 34 and what it tells us about human sexuality:
Rule 34: If it exists, or you can imagine it, there is porn of it. No exceptions.
Rule 34 summarizes everything about sexuality.
It says that human sexual fantasy is limitless. It says that anything can be eroticized, can be arousing, can be life-affirming. It reminds us that any ideas we have about what’s normal sex are about us, not about sex. I’m always telling patients “don’t blame sex for your ideas about sex.”
Rule 34 reminds us exactly what pornography is: a library of human eroticism. Pornography is a celebration of how humans can stretch their erotic imagination–sometimes in ways that disturb you or me. Nevertheless, pornography celebrates the erotic imagination BEYOND specific content. Like the ability to imagine the future, and the knowledge that we’re going to die, the enormous range of pornography is uniquely human.
Rule 34 also reminds us that people don’t necessarily want to do what they fantasize about. Sex with Kramer, George, & Jerry at the same time? Sex with a dolphin? Sex with someone about to be guillotined for stealing a loaf of bread? Sex with your grandmother at high noon on Times Square? A threesome with Batman & Robin?
Rule 34 also reminds us of the coin’s other side–that none of us can imagine the entire range of human eroticism. That should keep us humble. It’s somewhat like a gourmet travelling to a far-off, isolated country and discovering they eat something there he never considered food–say, fried worms. The issue isn’t so much does the gourmet want to eat fried worms; rather, it’s the idea that there’s “food” that he never considered food. And if that’s true about fried worms, about how many other “foods” might that also be true?
Rule 34 shows us all knit together in an erotic brotherhood (or sisterhood, if you will). If the human project of eroticism is bigger than both you and me, your turn-on and my turn-on that appear so different from each other are really small parts of a much bigger whole. And there are others who are into your turn-on (which I find so exotic), and there are others–perhaps many others–who think my turn-on is so very exotic.
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June 12th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
[Update: I no longer use Fiverr due to their bad habit of suspending gigs that aren’t frequently active, and because I’ve gotten more expensive, but I remain available for such research on terms I’d be happy to negotiate by email!]
A while back I got the wild notion to offer a porn research and attribution service. So far I’ve had a double handful of satisfied customers for that “gig” (as these little jobs are called on Fiverr, the micro-services site where I am making it available) and so I’ve decided to add a new offering.
I Will Prove Rule 34 For You With Example URLS For $5
You all know about Rule 34: “If it exists, there is porn of it.” It’s not always literally true, but it’s true more often than you’d think! And I’m just the man to prove it.
Five bucks gets you a small number of URLS (up to five) pointing at porn of whatever you specify. You can try to skunk me, but you’ll fail; and here’s why. This gig is guaranteed! Adele Haze pointed out to me the other day that there’s a moral-imperative corollary to Rule 34: “If you’ve identified an exception, you must redress the lack.” So, if you buy this gig and I can’t find any porn of whatever you specify, I will write you a dirty limerick about it and either send it to you or post it here on ErosBlog and send you the URL (depending on how proud of it I am). But either way, there will be “porn of it” before I’m done!
I should be honest, though. The $5 offering only gets you a few URLs or my dirty limerick. It’s a fun challenge and a way for you to astonish your friends by finding a small number of samples to prove the rule. But if you’ve actually got some incredibly-obscure fetish or fetish interest and genuinely want all of my best efforts to help you ferret out the best internet sources of porn that might satisfy it, I’m offering an “extra” on this gig where, if you check the box and pay another twenty bucks, I’ll write you a comprehensive Rule 34 search report. For this report, I’ll keep searching until I’m morally certain I’ve found everything that my highly-tuned porn search skills can turn up about your porn subject of interest, and then I’ll write you a comprehensive report with all the best URLs I could find, and a sentence or two about each one explaining what’s there. We’re not talking a long document; a couple of pages max, maybe, if you printed it out. But the report will cover all the best sources in whatever media (fanfic, art, movies, manga, YouTube videos, image boards, story sites, comics, torrents, whatever!) that I could find, with any suggestions I might have for further searching. In short, you’ll get my concentrated effort to help you find all the best porn on your subject of interest.
I don’t know whether anybody will take me up on this “comprehensive” extra. I do know from my experience with the porn research gig that if you do, you’ll get a lot of effort for your money. Once I get my teeth into a porn hunt it becomes a challenge that’s hard for me to let go of. And I’m pretty good at this porn searching stuff, if I do say so myself. Of course your outcomes will depend on what’s out there to be found; I can’t (except for the guarantee-limerick of course) make porn appear on the internet that doesn’t already exist. For this reason I do advise against ordering the “comprehensive” report unless you’re already fairly sure that at least some stuff exists out there to be found.
Here’s that link again:
I Will Prove Rule 34 For You With Example URLS For $5
2016 update: Because of some deficiencies with Fiverr I am no longer using their platform to do this work. But if you want to email me (baccchus@erosblog.com) we can make a private arrangement. However, these days I’m more likely to charge $10 than $5, just so you know.
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June 11th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Recently I became aware of an ironic lapse: the most succinct statement of Bacchus’s First Rule that exists on the internet is to be found in a two-year-old tweet on somebody else’s server. Doh!
By embedding the tweet here, I am trying to live by my own Rule. A side benefit is that I’m putting it somewhere that’s easier to find and link to. It’s true that the embedded tweet still depends on access to Twitter’s servers for styling information, but the text will still be here if Twitter’s servers go away. (By “here” I mean “on my server for as long as I have one” and subsequently in whatever archives of ErosBlog may persist.)
I should note that sometimes these days I phrase the rule a little bit differently than I did at first. The “at your own domain” phrasing comes from an era when search engine optimization (SEO) loomed larger in my thinking. Why create content that will generate search traffic to another domain instead of to your own? But focusing on the domain name can be somewhat misleading.
One reason is that in these modern times, search engines can’t be trusted to reliably send traffic to web locations that aren’t in their corporate-partner data-silo complexes, especially if the content is disfavored, like dirty porn or instructions for downloading stuff. SEO has become a mug’s game for the most part; it’s necessary but not sufficient to guarantee your web presence. You can’t disregard it entirely but it’s a will-o-wisp that will mire you in the swamp if you make it your guiding star.
But that’s actually a side issue. The core of the problem with putting your creative output on free blog hosting services and what we’ve come to call “social networking sites” never was maintaining visibility; often, the social networking sites will send you more traffic than you ever could hope to get on your own. No, at the heart of the problem is control. And for that, you want your own server more than you want your own domain, because the server is more important to your own control and (if you want it) long-lived web presence.
Your “ownership” of a domain name is anyway a somewhat fragile thing; a domain can be fairly easily taken away by litigation or state action. The two things you can actually control are your files and the server that hosts them. What gives your web presence its best hope of permanence is you being the owner of your own server or, more commonly, being a lessee of server space from some commodity hosting provider who can be instantly replaced when (if) they stop respecting your prerogatives. If you keep your files in order (fresh backups!) you can get new server space in under four hours; hosting businesses are highly competitive and eager for your money. So now I tend to state the rule this way:
Bacchus’s First Rule Of The Internet: “Anything worth doing on the internet is worth doing on your own server that you control.”
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January 1st, 2024 -- by Bacchus
People on social media have been losing their minds yesterday and today over the fact that the first Mickey Mouse cartoon Steamboat Willie has finally fallen out of copyright and entered the public domain. Dirty minds keep asking “when do we get the Steamboat Willie porn?” Which is a perfectly reasonable question, only I know my Rule 34 better than that. So I spent the last 24 hours delighting and amusing (which is to say, torturing) these social media questioners with this raunchy manga image:
The artist is said to be hentaib2319.
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July 31st, 2023 -- by Bacchus
I’ve written before about the dubious joys of that near-forgotten early internet age before search engines were much of a thing. A well-designed and personally-curated link list was often your best chance for finding your heart’s desire, or just for pursuing your more fleshy lusts. Watching that porn list load in your browser, scanning it, seeing old familiar favorite destinations all mixed up with sites you hadn’t yet had the pleasure of visiting — it was fun! And it worked well, too, at least until you got too lost in the Rule 34 swamps and started searching for all those weird and kinky things things that weren’t to be found on anybody’s linklist. Eventually you’d reach the moment when you knew: you had found all the relevant vampire pirate erotica (or whatever else floated your boat back in 1996), and thus it was time to start making and sharing your own list of the stuff.
Making link lists, especially porn lists, is a tradition that never truely went away, especially once it became clear that search engines won’t or can’t reliably tell us about the adult sites they know about. If your business has anything to do adult pleasure, you can count on logging in one day and discovering that people can’t find you in their web searches: not easily, not reliably, not in response to the most obvious queries.
The world’s hard-working camgirls feature prominently among the adult entertainment professionals who face this ongoing struggle to obtain and keep good search visibility. That’s why a solid camsites linklist like myfavsexcams.xxx is still a good idea in 2023. There’s nothing like seeing all your cams-performer options laid out in a nice neat grid. If you’re already a fan of list-making and list-using, so much the better! You’ll feel right at home.
I once had a friend whose procrastination was so next-level, he’d procrastinate by writing down all his overdue tasks on a nice neat to-do list. These lists were things of beauty; he’d literally draw little square check-boxes in front of each item. Invariably, at the top of the list, the first item would be “Make To-Do List”. He’d check off that one item with a satisfied flourish… and then go right back to playing Dungeons of Moria for another thirty hours instead of working on his term paper. Don’t be that guy! Although you might be forgiven if, like this well-organized wife, you make a list that communicates your singleness of seductive purpose.
Image credits, top to bottom: The bodacious vampire pirate is by the artist Yayashin. The lady whose one-item shopping list is just sex lube and a salacious promise is by Mosbles. The sexy shopper with her grocery list in her mouth is by artist 虛次元, which translates to something like “Imaginary Dimension”. Finally, the eager wife who’s making her own honey for her husband’s honey-do list is drawn by Albo.
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July 20th, 2023 -- by Bacchus
I promised myself that I wouldn’t let my new generative porn hobby become a blogging obsession. Especially because, for the last few days, I’ve been exploring “alien sex toys” prompt spaces that, Rule 34 notwithstanding, aren’t even associated with any common fetish. It’s just a weird notion that’s been kicking around in my pervert-brain for years with no outlet, since I’ve never been a visual-arts creative. Thus, I honestly was planning to exercise restraint in the posting of this stuff.
That good resolution flew all the way out the window when the ghosts in my machine served us up this super-buff humanoid-pattern absolutely terrifying (but possibly in a good way) sexbot. Currently equipped with a robust penetrative attachment that may or may not be “for display purposes only”. Autonomy rating and sexual-aggression settings are probably available in the manual, but I don’t read Rigelian tradecopy, so… be extra polite, I guess?
I know it’s really old fashioned for a blogger to ask for feedback, but at some point I’m going to have to ask: is this generative art stuff an annoyance, just “meh”, or something y’all want to see on a continuing basis? I mean, I haven’t been posting quite daily, so there’s plenty of room for throwaway “art” posts in between the regular ones, but if it’s too weird and creepy, at some point I’ll need to trust my regular readers to tell me so.
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August 18th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
As a luxury tool for facilitating the so-called solitary vice, the Fleshlight is not a thing we see very much of here on ErosBlog. But of course there is plenty of porn of it, as Rule 34 demands:
The artwork is by Ignition Crisis aka Sgt Crisis, who has a Patreon.
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