ErosBlog

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September 24th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Y’all Love Ya Some 69

A fascinating (to some) analysis of the four-digit PINs (that’s Personal Identification Numbers) as discovered in use in escaped password databases turns up one factoid of potential interest specifically to ErosBlog readers. It turns out that 6969 is the tenth-most-popular PIN in use.

69 in art

The source article says “snigger”; I say “heh”.

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September 23rd, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Forensic Photoarcheology, Vintage Blowjob Edition

Alternative title: How To “Waste” A Fine Morning.

Dateline ErosBlog, 2003: I published a wallet photo of a vintage blowjob.

Most of a decade later, I see a similar photo on Tumblr, and I’m thinking “This woman looks familiar!”

So I do some image searching (on the web and on my hard drives) until I find the best available watermark-free version. And then I rummage my archives to find the other picture of the same woman that I posted back in 2003. Fast to say, but an hour’s gone already. Is it the same woman?

Yes! It sure looks like her when I make a side-by-side composite:

a pair of 1920s vintage blowjobs

Hair is the same, and most importantly, she’s wearing the same striped hose. It’s her!

But now I’m in a frenzy of pointless data acquisition. I want to find and post the best available versions of these pictures, which turns out to be these (click for full size versions, the biggest and cleanest I found):

cracked and worn wallet photos of two vintage blowjobs

That’s another hour gone, spent in pop-up-hell ruski image forums and ancient foreign-language blogspot archives, satisfying myself that none of the versions in Google image search are better than the ones I’ve already found. I don’t find the holy grail I’m always looking for (glowing 1200-pixel-wide HD scans of these fragile old cracked wallet prints) but I do find another, wider, less-cracked, less-cropped version of the second one. Did you like the striped hose? That’s good, because now you can see more:

blowjob woman with striped hose

At various times over the years I’ve encountered life coaching advice that boils down to “figure out what you’re good at and really enjoy doing, then figure out how to turn it into a career.” Well, this post right here is what I’m good at. Rummaging through old porn, spotting something unique or special, making connections based on tricky searches and faint memories, finding kinky gems in badly-curated collections (including the biggest dusty porn closet of them of all, the internet), making do with unreliable metadata clues and suggestive image details, putting it all together with an artful crop or an illuminating caption or a half-witty line or a fantasy notion gestured at in an overwrought sentence or two. And it’s all “a waste of time” because at the end, all I’m generating is not-so-deep insights like “hey, these two vintage pics are from the same shoot” or “wow, here’s another picture where you can see her nifty lingerie better”. Maybe some people other than me are amused, but it’s not important to anybody … not even me (most days).

Still — it’s what I’m good at, and I really enjoy doing it. For awhile there (back in the mid-oughts, before the feral-debt bubble burst, when many ordinary people still could still afford to put porn subscriptions on their cheap-and-easy credit cards and porn “piracy” wasn’t yet a fundamental computer-literacy survival skill for everyone who doesn’t golf with Money Boo Boo) it paid the bills. These days? Not so much. With the ten-year ErosBlog anniversary just a couple of weeks away, I find myself wondering something I never expected to wonder. Not “Do I want to keep doing this?” Because — amazingly — I find that I still do. If desire were the only issue, I’d be confident that I could steer ErosBlog through yet another decade. And even if the commercial porn industry were to thrash its last ugly death rattle sometime in the next ten years, there’s enough stuff out there to keep me happily threshing-and-winnowing for a lifetime.

Nope, the only issue for me is, where am I gonna find the computronium? It doesn’t grow on trees, and web traffic doesn’t monetize as automatically as it used to back when we were all hiding from crack-addled refi mortgage brokers trying to sign us up for too-cheap-to-meter debt. The challenge of ErosBlog’s second decade, clearly, is going to be finding ways to keep the server up, and me “playing” at my keyboard.

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September 22nd, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Strap-On Servicing

By now it’s a venerable tradition that an Ultimate Surrender wrestling match isn’t complete until the loser suffers ritual sexual humiliation at the hands (and often, at the point of a strap-on dildo) of the winner. It’s good to see tradition being respected:

sucking and tit-fucking a strap-on dildo

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September 21st, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Condoms In Porn: The Aesthetics

Given that condoms-in-porn have been the subject of controversy (artistic, political, medical, legal) ever since the early days of the AIDS epidemic and continue to be so, it’s perhaps remarkable that ErosBlog has never (so far as I know) covered any aspect of the issue. Mostly it’s because this blog’s mostly R-rated approach to modern photographic porn makes dicks with raincoats rara avis around here. In much larger part, it’s because I’m ignorant about the legal, medical, and political issues, while I’m mostly apathetic (Ron White’s penetrating observation notwithstanding) about the aesthetics of penises, with or without rubber covers.

Thus I was startled to (s)tumble over an anal sex pic from Explicite Art (see it here) where the visual of the condom struck me as strongly improving the appearance of the porn. Exactly why this might be so, I’m not certain; my best guess is that the slick appearance of the latex stands in for a slippery wet look that (in other sexual contexts, though it’s illogical in this one) suggests natural arousal, which is always sexy. As always, your mileage may vary.

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September 21st, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Penis Plugs: Now With Set Screws!

It’s always an eye-opener to discover (through the medium of sex toys) a whole field of sex stimulus and/or fetish play you never knew existed. Last year when my discovery of the Giant Penis Plug clued me into to the existence of a universe of rings, plugs, and probing devices designed to grab the penis and place/hold metal parts inside the urethra in various painful/pleasurable/controlling ways, my principle reaction was (metaphorically speaking) to clutch at myself and run away. I should have known (but did not immediately discover, due to aforementioned metaphorical fleeing) that whenever men buy toys for themselves that are machined out of steel, models with options, doohickeys, and adjustments quickly begin to flood the market. For instance, how is it possible not to offer something in this line that needs to be adjusted with a wrench?

Turns out, it’s not. Behold the Deep Driller With Cock Ring:

deep driller cock ring with adjustable urethral plug and probe

Here’s the sales copy; note the wrenching specs, AKA porn for the mechanically-inclined:

The Deep Driller is a stainless steel, dual action penis plug and cock ring that has an adjustable length urethral insert that prevents ejaculation, with a sturdy round cock ring to hold it in place. This hardcore piece of hardware is a very clever way to penetrate the urethra while trapping the cock in place.

A handy hex key (or Allen wrench) is included to adjust the plug length (up to 3 inches). Cock torture and chastity enthusiasts will enjoy this device immensely. It’s great for BDSM partners, slaves, Masters or Mistresses… and for solo masochists to play with themselves as well.

Dual action! Adjustable insert! I wonder if I can get that with tritium ghost ring sights and computerized injectors? {FapFapFap} Awshit, now I need a hanky.

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September 20th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Obscene Postcards At The English Seaside

Remember when Dr. Faustus blogged about a 1941 George Orwell essay that looked in detail at the social significance of racy cartoon postcards as offered for sale on the English seaside?

Of course you do:

prominent people showing their prominent bums at the seaside

What you may not know is that in 1954 (long after Orwell’s essay), a very elderly McGill “fell foul of several local censorship committees” and was found guilty of breaking the Obscene Publications Act of 1857. Well, now word comes from Eastbourne on “a sunny seaside pier” with a 21st-update. Some things have changed (the postcards are now photographic) and some things have not (they’re still “cheeky”).

cheeky postcards from the English seaside

Another thing that hasn’t changed from the age when Orwell called these postcards “barely legal” and McGill was convicted of obscenity is that people whose lives are devoid of more important things to worry about are still offended by cheeky seaside humor. Meet Mr. Ashley Steinschauer, an assistant minister at the Elim Family Church in Eastbourne, who is proud to have filed a complaint with the local authorities that triggered a police visit to Mr. Ian Donald’s gift shop:

I was shocked to see the postcard on sale right outside the shop.

I spoke to some elderly residents in Eastbourne and their worry is that the postcards are not cartoons anymore. They are real women and that’s a huge difference.

In Brighton I could understand it, but not here in Eastbourne. It’s damaging the image of the town and making it look sleazy.

“How far down the line does it go and where does it stop? I think it shows a real shift in morality and it’s got to stop.

Fortunately, the cop “did see the funny side” and a member of the same Borough Council that sent him around now acknowledges that “the saucy postcard is a vital part of our seaside heritage.”

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September 18th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

An Act Inspired By Maschalagnia

Maschalagnia … wait, what? Yeah, that’s “armpit fetish” to you, unless you got a very detailed classical education:

armpit fucking, vintage style

Via Vintage Lust.

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