ErosBlog

The Sex Blog Of Record
 
 

ErosBlog posts containing "sex toys"

 
October 17th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

Anal Beads

Who among us doesn’t need more anal beads these days? Anal beads have come a long way since the first time I walked into a sex shop. Back then, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and people thought Pong was a cool computer game, anal beads were literally beads: cheap spheres of acrylic plastic (usually with sharp seams you’d be wise to carve away with a pen knive) strung on porous cotton string. If the beads didn’t scratch you and the string didn’t break (leaving you with an extrication problem), you were still stuck with a single-use toy, because there was no way to clean and sanitize that cotton string. And let’s not even think about all the little tiny holes through the beads…

But now? Technology has advanced, boys and girls. Now we’re talking graduated bumps in a soft but firm-enough stack, offering more pleasure and much less hassle with a toy you have a hope of cleaning for repeat fun. Behold the Kinklab Innuendo Anal Beads:

anal beads sitting on her bottom

From the product description:

KinkLab’s Innuendo Anal Beads are a safe, pleasurable addition to the repertoire of every aficionado of anal play, no matter what level of experience. This silicone-blend toy features seven beads of graduated sizes that can be easily inserted, starting with the smallest and working your way up to the larger ones as your comfort and confidence increases. Just add your favorite water-based lube and insert slowly.

Unlike strands of beads, this toy is a single solid piece, and equipped with a handle that makes removal safe, comfortable, and easy. Because of the high-quality silicone materials, it’s easy to keep the Innuendo clean — just hand wash with mild soap or a commercial cleaner and allow to air-dry before playing again.

displaying her anal beads

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July 30th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

“Alien Tail” Buttplug

My admiration for the extent to which people will go in fulfilling their fetishes is always reinforced by the category of sex toy products that’s been designed so that people can have tails, albeit tails that are held in place by means of well-inserted butt plugs. Butt plug tails usually fall into the category of animal roleplay gear, for which purpose they are functional, practical, and allow for some kink and fetish costuming (think puppy play, pony play, and select furry/fursuit shenanigans) that’s otherwise difficult to pull off well.

Something that I have not seen before and believe may be both new and unique: a butt-plug tail that receives extra help keeping it in place from an Oxballs-style cock sling. This requires penis and balls for maximum effectivness — sorry, people who don’t have penises! — and it’s fucking awesome in a Michael Manning kind of way:

buttplug tail black alien

Yes, that’s the Alien Tail Cocksling Buttplug (also available in red) made by Oxballs. Here’s the official sales copy:

A super-stretchy Alien for your ass! Oxballs brings you this smooth design which features a built-in version of their cocksling, with an attached ergonomic buttplug. You will love the unique feel of the thick rubbery tail that wiggles with your every move! The cocksling/buttplug design creates a “locking” effect that keeps you hard and keeps the plug tightly inside your hole. Feels great for tops or bottoms as it wriggles around your insides.

Most of you are probably thinking some version of “Hey, all-righty then!” But a few of you are feeling that familiar twinge of new-sex-toy lust. You know who you are; you know what to do. Enjoy!

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May 25th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

ErosBlog: The Good Parts, And How To Get More Such

ErosBlog has been rumbling along now for more than thirteen years. There’s no shame in admitting that sometimes, the blog — which is me — has gotten stuck in a rut. There are plenty of posts I’m proud of, sure. But too often, here we are: still in the rut.

On too many days, an Erosblog post is one line of text, one image, and perhaps an attribution. My loyal readers deserve better. What does a post like that have to offer, that would make ErosBlog more worth visiting than a randomly-selected porn Tumblr?

sample tumblr-style erosblog post

I believe my very best sex blogging work has more in common with the Bernard Montorgueil post I put up yesterday. I’m proudest of the posts that synthesize my fascination with obscure porn, my decades of “experience” as a porn enthusiast, my formidable search skills, and my willingness to pursue a research project down into the tiniest and most ridiculous electronic dead ends and internet rat-holes. Sometimes I may call this higher-quality work by different names, like “erotic art curation or forensic photoarcheology or deep-dive provenance research into viral photographs or reluctant internet-business journalism with cynical commentary.” But call them what you will, all these higher-quality posts share one thing in common: every last one of them took at least half a day to create. That’s minimum. Some take much longer. A search-heavy research project can consume dozens of hours, because there’s always a deeper rabbit warren to get lost in, or another broken link to pursue into the most gruesome depths of the Internet Archives.

On the other hand, I can find and select and crop and make a one-image post in five minutes or less. Is it any wonder that ErosBlog can sometimes go days or even weeks looking like just another slow-paced image blog?

The brutal truth is that, as a business, ErosBlog doesn’t generate enough revenue to justify spending half of my work day (or even longer) on a single post. Once upon a time, it did, back when a lot more people still bought porn-site subscriptions after following my affiliate links. These days? No. Most of the time I spend here now is time I have to steal from better-paying work that I enjoy rather less. Without boring you with my troubles (we all haz them) even the “better-paying work” I steal the ErosBlog time from doesn’t pay all that awesomely well. To meet my responsibilities properly, I “ought” to be doing more of that work, while further reducing the time I spend here.

I would find that outcome…unwelcome. Maybe you would, too.

This is all to explain why I’m looking at the crowdfunding model, and especially the recurring-patronage version that Patreon has pioneered. Perhaps ten thousand people still look at ErosBlog on an average day; that’s down considerably from our heyday, but it remains a lot of people. If I had an easy way to collect small sums on a regular basis from a slim percentage of my most appreciative readers, it could radically transform the economics of the venture. Set it up correctly (and this I consider to be the genius of the Patreon-style model) and it would actually create daily incentives to do more of the good work, and less of the lazy stuff.

Of course, I might instead make the humbling discovery that nobody values this project enough to contribute actual money to its maintenance and improvement. That, too, would be useful to know. Then maybe I could do a little more paying work and still find time to return to my computer gaming habit!

That wouldn’t completely suck.

computer-gaming-hobby

This post is here because you’re most likely going to be seeing “fund me” pitches in the near future. I think it’s only fair to let my loyal readers know why that will be happening. If you’re reading all of this, you definitely qualify as a loyal reader! Thanks for that.

 
November 27th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Easter In November

I know it’s November, but it may nonetheless be time to start prepping your kinky Easter baskets:

chrome steel egg sex toy for kinky easter

The product description where I found these [long out of stock, link removed] is just a bit coy about what these eggs are for, but the third sentence makes things clear enough:

You can decide for yourself what to do with this impressively heavy and solid chrome-plated steel egg.

There’s a small hole through the center of the egg, through which a string can be threaded to aid in extracting the egg from dark places. For safety, be sure to only use this toy anally when a tether is attached.

I have also seen web discussion of using these as Kegel exercisers and as “challenge” toys where the submissive party has to keep the egg inside while carrying out other activities, with forfeits to be paid if the heavy egg escapes. Perhaps you can even teach your favorite Easter bunny to lay eggs!

easter-bunny-egg-laying

Easter bunny art is by xxxx52.

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November 23rd, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Early Black/Cyber Deals

The whole Black Friday and Cyber Monday complex of sales has found its way to the sex toy business, to your benefit and mine. Remember the Six Gates Of Pride rainbow cock cage that delighted so many when it came out last spring? Well, it’s one of the many items being heavily discounted just now:

rainboy gates of pride cock ring cage

Another item previously featured here on ErosBlog that’s on discount this time of year is the set of Shower Sex Bondage Cuffs with suction cups:

shower-sex-bondage-cuffs

Not seen here before, but utterly awesome in a slightly-disturbing kind of way, is this ominous Leather Apron, which should protect you from the environmental hazards of your messier kink activities:

leather apron

Sex toy sales are always so much fun!

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November 11th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Anal Beads: You’ve Come A Long Way

I remember when anal beads were a nasty unsafe unsanitary nightmare. They were sold in every shoddy sex toy shop and XXX VHS video rental place, and they were cheap, because they had to be. For one thing, they were literally plastic beads, on a white cotton string. There was no way to clean or sanitize that string after use, or the holes through the beads for that matter. Worse yet, the beads were acrylic plastic (remember Clackers?) and they often had a sharp/scratchy mold line where the two hemispheres of the beads had been pressed together. To use them safely, you first had to inspect them bead by bead, smoothing off any rough spots with an X-Acto knife and sandpaper; and then you had to throw them away when you were done, unless you really enjoyed playing with boiling water and bleach. They were a nightmare, I tell you!

They’ve come a long way. Behold the KinkLab Innuendo Anal Beads:

anal beads

Kinklab’s Innuendo Anal Beads are a safe, pleasurable addition to the repertoire of every aficionado of anal play, no matter what level of experience. This silicone-blend toy features seven beads of graduated sizes that can be easily inserted, starting with the smallest and working your way up to the larger ones as your comfort and confidence increases. Just add your favorite water-based lube and insert slowly.

Unlike strands of beads, this toy is a single solid piece, and equipped with a handle that makes removal safe, comfortable, and easy. Because of the high-quality silicone materials, it’s easy to keep the Innuendo clean–just hand wash with mild soap or a commercial cleaner and allow to air-dry before playing again.

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October 28th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

RealDoll, Dismembered

realdoll-in-trashbag

What do you do with a life-sized (and heavy) sex doll that you borrowed for a photo shoot, when it turns out the owners don’t want it back? Hauling it around wrapped in trash bags when you move is hella inconvenient and makes the neighbors nervous. Sharon Marie Wright faced this very problem. Her highly practical solution? Skin it, dismember it, and keep the body parts in a storage tub for future hijinks:

body parts from dismembered Real Doll

What the hell do I do with this thing? I’m stuck again.

I don’t want to wrap her up in trash bags again and stash her in the garage. I can’t throw her in the trash, she wouldn’t fit any way. I can’t just set her out on the curb – I really like our neighborhood and would like to continue to live here without being looked at as “the freaky neighbors”. I’m sure as hell not going to put her on Craigslist and invite people over to examine her wares.

I’ll just skin the bitch.

That’s a logical solution.

There are lots of wonderful creepy pictures. It’s awesome.

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