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The Sex Blog Of Record
Friday, July 7th, 2023 -- by Bacchus
This isn’t an atheism blog and I see no reason to waste much time hassling people about their religions. But it’s no secret that I have very little respect for religions that set themselves in opposition to pleasure. An omnipotent deity who’s mad about dildos is risible, not worthy of worship:
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Sunday, December 4th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
I count nine ladies of the harem. No wonder they look bored!
Art is by Eugene Reunier.
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Monday, February 28th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
This very good boy jumps in the river, finds sticks, and brings them back for treats. Today he found the most excellent stick:
The amazing thing about this photo is that it’s from a rather long thread on Twitter where many different people show photos of their dogs playing with sex toys found in the great out-of-doors. Is there some fetish subculture that involves buying sex toys and leaving them under the hedge at the park?
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Sunday, September 20th, 2020 -- by Bacchus
Do your LEG0 mini figures have enough sex toys? This guy’s do!
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Tuesday, July 19th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
This Gawker story is a year old, so I’ll just ask a question: did they ever identify the Portland dong dangler who was tying dildos together and throwing them over power lines like old shoes?
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Tuesday, January 13th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
What did dildos look like 14 kilo-years ago? Mashable offers this picture, and a few others even older:
The article also tells us that squeamish archaeologists have been in the habit of referring to phallic artifacts as “batons”, or in the case of the ones from 30,000 years ago, “ice-age batons.” Now I’m picturing “ice-age orchestras” and “ice-age parades” — damn you, squeamish archaeologists!
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Wednesday, January 30th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
A while back I had a conversation somewhere on social media (I’m getting old enough for “can’t remember shit” disease to have set in, so I have no idea where or precisely with whom) with a woman who said she didn’t understand why dildo harnesses weren’t more popular with men. Being the (comedic) straight man that I am, I asked “Ah, durr, what for?” Her answer was, essentially, so they could do this:
That’s the Double Penetration Harness and Dildo Set. It caught my eye because I was looking at Valentines Day sex toy sales at the time and reflecting on how “sex toys as romantic gifts” is a tricky thing to get right. It’s no fun if the buyer won’t enjoy it, but you don’t want to be that guy who springs a new and possibly-unwelcome fetish play request on his partner in the guise of buying the necessary gear “for her” with a heavy side of “so now we have to play with it”. The trick, of course, is to buy gear for a fantasy she’s already expressed an interest in.
So, this may not be your situation. But imagine that she’s said on several occasions some variation of: “Gosh, I’d love to be double-penetrated like those girls in the pornos, but I don’t want another man in my bed so I guess I’ll just have to dream about it…” I’d say the Double Penetration Harness and Dildo Set is your opportunity to go all “I am a MAN, I provide SOLUTIONS by using ENGINEERING!” Once again, MacGyver saves the day.
Hey. Maybe that’s not your situation. Maybe you’ll do better if you buy her the Anal Rosebud Suction Cylinder (I am totally not making this up). I dunno. The point is, romantic sex toy gifts work better if you’ve been listening to your partner and get a gift that enables one of their sexual fetishes or fantasies, rather than just your own. Yeah, that’s so basic, but people (especially guys) get it wrong all the time.
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Thursday, July 19th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
You have six women, a pool, and a waterfall. For proper cleansing, how many dildos do the women need? Show your work:
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Thursday, April 12th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
From Kinky Delight:
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Monday, January 16th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
This bible verse (Ezekiel 16:17) was used as an epigram in The Stimulators about which I blogged yesterday.
Thou hast also taken thy fair jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given thee, and madest to thyself images of men, and didst commit whoredom with them.
“Commit whoredom” seems like a somewhat vague complaint by Ezekiel, who is usually fairly specific in passing on what he claimed were God’s objections to the abominations then being committed in the City of Jerusalem. But then again, I’m not sure what “and didst stick them repeatedly in your hoo-hahs” should look like after being translated from the original by sexually-squeamish religious men. It’s entirely possible that old Ezekiel himself was rather more direct and clear about the objectionable uses to which the “images of men” were put.
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Monday, October 28th, 2002 -- by Bacchus
This story is a few months old, but it’s about something that’s been buried for a couple of thousand years, so what’s the hurry? It seems that a trove of ancient Chinese bronze dildos was discovered. Speculation as to their use seems, ah, imaginative:
Archaeologists in China have uncovered seven ancient bronze dildos in a Han Dynasty tomb.
This is the first time so many have been unearthed from that era (206 BC – AD 25).
The dildos were cast from a mould, suggesting they were made by a specialist artisan.
Archaeologists say the dildos uncovered in Xian could have been used by eunuchs.
They also say palace maids may have used them on sexually-deprived imperial concubines.
They expect to find more dildoes in the city in north-western Shaanxi province.
If China today is anything like as sexually repressed as European communist countries typically were, I guess this sort of fevered speculation is as close as the archaeologists can get to actual porn. I wonder if psuedointellectual cheap little treatises like “Some Suppositions on the Usages of Bronze Dildos During the Han Dynasty, with 17 Fully Engraved Plates” are sold as pornography in China, the way “Medical Sex Manuals” were sold in the US and Britain back when porn was still a felony?
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