October 26th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Bend Her Over
Some things haven’t changed from the very earliest days of porn. Replace that wooden bench with a cheap hotel couch, and you’d have a very modern porn pic:
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October 25th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Advanced Porn Star Tip
Or, how to make sure your ass is clean enough for the photoshoot, in two tweets by Cherry Torn:
@cherrytorn Doing the cigarette ass cleanliness test.
@cherrytorn If I can smoke a cigarette and not even water comes out, I know it’s done!
When I first saw this I thought she was talking about some circus vaudeville tent trick. “See the lady smoke a cigarette with her ass!” But no — apparently she’s smoking that butt in the regular way. She’s blogged about this in more detail here:
I flush my ass over and over until it SEEMS like it’s clean, then shower or do my hair/makeup and hopefully smoke a cigarette. I’m not a big smoker, but it really is a true test of ass cleanliness. I’ve learned over the years that my ass will ALWAYS try to fake me out. I just have to wait. Hence the need for time and more flushing.
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October 24th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
How To Write Erotica
Remittance Girl has a new guide up:
How To Write Erotica: Some Advice & Resources for Beginners
It looks pretty good!
October 22nd, 2011 -- by Bacchus
You May Not Be Tall Enough For This Ride
Courtney Trouble on sexual ignorance:
I’m going to speak from my own female point of view for a second and speak directly to the heterosexual guys out there reading this: Women do not want to have sex with people who don’t know how to have sex. Want to get laid? Want to get laid over and over and over again? Get yourself sex educated on female pleasure. Learn about the clitoris. Learn about sex toys. Learn about anatomy, fingerfucking, fisting, female ejaculation, cunnilingus, dirty talk, BDSM, kink, fantasy role play. Your ignorance is keeping you down. The guys who get laid all the time (and aren’t just lying about it) are the ones who know what they’re doing.
Pop Quiz: You’re fucking a babe. You orgasm. She doesn’t — WHAT DO YOU DO NOW? Your answer to this question is pivotal to your sex score. Thinking that female pleasure is “Gross” will get you nothing. No pussy for you. If you don’t know what to do with a pussy when your dick is soft — you don’t deserve any pussy.
October 22nd, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Photoshopped Male Celebrity Bondage
Oh, dear. Anderson Cooper, what kind of trouble have you gotten into this time?
There’s a bunch of these, photoshops all. But funny.
October 19th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
The Tickle Nurse Is IN
Tickling therapy. She hates it, but she needs it:
And that’s just one of the alternative therapies this nurse provides!
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October 18th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Can’t Hide From l33t h4ck1ng Muth4fukk4
Thomas Roche likes to dive into those bullshit sex stories that always get the old media all moist in their collective sex-negative panties, just so he can mock them comprehensively from the perspective of an web citizen who understands about search engines and how you can, y’know, check that shit before you write about it. I admire this, because it takes work as well as wit, and as a lazy half-wit, usually I can’t be bothered; once my advanced spidey sense tells me “this is bullshit”, I typically want to forget I ever saw that stupid headline as rapidly as possible, and thus I get to spend the next three days cursing as people retweet it at me. But Roche makes sex-story-stupidity-debunking funny, and I suspect serves a salutatory educational function while he does it. What’s more, in the process he typically does a better job reporting the actual stories in question than anybody previously has done. This may indeed be what 21st-century journalism looks like, folks!
His latest takedown is of the “ZOMG, sex while skydiving!” story, the breathless headlines about which have been infesting my RSS and twitter feeds of late and causing, thereby, extreme weariness in the finger I’ve been using to click on something else, ANYTHING else, “NO PLEASE FEDERAL NETWORK, I would NOT like to know more!” I’m not even going to link that shit, because Roche did it already and to link it, I’d have to look at it, and that would make my brain hurt more than it already does.
I’m posting this for an entirely different reason, namely, that I just about lost my cookies laughing at this bit in Roche’s story, where he mocks people who write for the web but who don’t seem to possess even the most rudimentary web search skills:
Incidentally, before we get started: multiple news sources (and Gawker) have said that the “original video” of the flying fuck between porn stars Alex Torres (aka Voodoo) and Hope Howell (possibly aka Maryjanesexy and Paige Thomas) was quickly “taken down from YouTube,” and “only fakes” exist. I have to tell you, if I got my porn from YouTube, I would think babies were made by Florida blondes in bikinis telling me about the Transitive Verb of the Day. Yes, the forces of decency did conspire to keep that video out of Gawker’s hairy palms. But I am one l33t h4ck1ng muth4fukk4. I did have to pull out some serious Neuromancer-era cyberpunk mojo to find the video that the FAA doesn’t want you to see, but after changing into my black PVC catsuit and Converse Hi-Tops, putting on night-vision goggles, drinking a six-pack of Jolt and eating a box of Hot Pockets while listening to Skinny Puppy at top volume, I “hacked the mainframe” and scored that tasty morsel of thoughtcrime contraband! I liberated that dirty video even though it was kept in a secure location guarded by Pentagon infobots…on Alex Torres’ website. Information wants to be free!
Muah ha ha ha ha, I can’t stop laughing.
