It’s no secret that some people have a sexual appetite for playing with cum that exceeds the volume of cum one man can readily produce on any given evening. Lining up more men to produce more cum is certainly possible, but can be logistically challenging and/or tiresome; and sometimes — amazingly — there’s a shortage of ready volunteers. Thus is born the market demand filled by a product called Squirting Cum Lube:

The new Squirting Cum Lube is specially designed and colored to duplicate the appearance and the feel of real cum! This water-based lubricant can be used inside a realistic squirting cock dildo, on a genuine real life cock for stimulation, or to lube up a dildo or vibrator for easy insertion.

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Sometimes I think the sex toy industry lacks a sufficient sense of whimsy and fun. Sure, you can find more than forty different kinds of nipple clamps at my favorite sex toy shop, but is any one of them a happily-smiling plastic cartoon lobster with sadistic claws? No. They are not. And the world is poorer for it:

I believe the artwork is from a 2004 Japanese eroge game called Rance 6 from Alice Soft.

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This is kind of fun: in the most recent installment of Hysterical Literature, Margaret Cho keeps breaking out in squirming giggles and laughter as she orgasms — and eventually drops her Kindle — while reading aloud at a table (both hands firmly above the table in clear view of the camera) from The Claiming Of Sleeping Beauty by “A. N. Roquelaure” (Anne Rice). (Am I a hopeless pedant for being annoyed that the Hysterical Literature site wrongly identifies the book she’s reading from as Sleeping Beauty? Yes I am.)

Although nothing in this video clip makes it clear who is doing precisely what to Margaret under the table, we know from the essay Stoya wrote about her episode of Hysterical Literature that in her case, there was a woman under the table applying a Hitachi Magic Wand with some degree of skill:

When I tell Clayton’s lovely assistant for the evening that I’ve never experienced the Hitachi, her eyes light up. I’ve obviously gotten myself into the most fun kind of trouble. Lights get set and everyone assumes their positions. My underwear lays on the floor out of frame. As I start reading, my disbelief is suspended. I forget what is about to happen. The first touch on my thigh sends all available blood to my vulva…

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OK, it takes a lot for me to look at a new sex toy and go “bu… but… WTF is it for?” These anal tunnel plugs have done it to me today:

Can somebody please point me to an internet resource describing the sexual use of these things? I can’t imagine there are too many people enforcing fecal incontinence on the long-term residents of their dungeons, right? Are people being penetrated through the central holes in these things? Is it for visual access? Perhaps all these things are true. I just can’t say. The promotional copy wasn’t very enlightening:

Want to open yourself and your lover to more intense sensation? These safe, flexible anal tunnel plugs take the conventional butt plug to an entirely new level of physical and visual pleasure. Whether you’re an advanced player or just beginning to explore, our three size options ensure satisfaction, and these tunnel plugs warm to the body and adjust to create a one-of-a-kind fit just for you!

We eagerly await further reports from the sexually-adventurous exploratory front.

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One of the funnest things about looking at sex toy advertising is that it’s a literature full of joyful absurdity. Case in point: A sex ball called the Rough Rider. Remember those bouncing ball toys with handles that are for riding?

They are not unheard of for use in porn as well:

(Yes, folks, that’s the infamous Bat Pussy!)

Back to the Rough Rider. You just know you’ll look like a rough rider indeed when you’re bouncing on one of these:

Yes, my friends, if personal dignity is not on your agenda (and anyway, who really has dignity while they have a dildo up their ass?) you can use one of these to fuck yourself in the butt with extra bouncy-bouncy action!

Frankly I’m surprised that the world is not full of femdom porn where men are humiliated by being forced to bounce around the dungeon on one of these while being whipped by dominatrices. Yes, I looked (cursorily). No, I did not find any. Perhaps you’ll do better.

Pro-Tip: If your local sex ball seller is out of stock, you could always get you a robust suction-cup-attached sex toy to improve the bouncy ball you can buy at a regular toy store.

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You’ve heard of a “buzz kill”? Well, I think this may be the “happy BDSM” opposite of that:

It’s from Men On Edge, so you needn’t worry; Kurt Von Ryder’s undies come off real fast. In the member’s area there’s a good closeup of the same two-powerful-vibrators-on-a-boner game, only with his underwear gone and replaced by nothing more than a thin coat of lube — like this shot from the shoot but in much closer focus.

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What’s going on, on the other side of the wall? Something sure has Rain DeGrey’s full attention:

Is it a man with a powerful vibrator and an insatiable forced-orgasms fetish?

Or, is it a pussy spanking that never seems to end?

The girl in the wall never knows what’s coming next, until it starts to happen. For all she knows, there could be a whole corridor full of playful perverts lined up over there…

Pictures are from the most recent shoot at Sexually Broken. Sorry, there’s no free samples gallery available yet.

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