This complaint was circulating on TikTok: “I offered to tittyfuck my husband on a personal message and apparently that’s bullying.”

Some of y’all will be saying “but that’s just the AI-automated moderation getting it wrong” which is at once true and precisely the point! Most AI tools have pornocalypse baked into them. Which means that as more and more AI gets built into our internet technology stacks, the more and more hostile those stacks will be to adult content, everywhere we go. Until you can’t even flirt with your own spouse.

I don’t know about you, but that’s not the internet future I want.

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I saw a cute analogy on social media the other day, attempting to explain the difference between kinky sex and vanilla sex:

Vanilla sex is like playing on a professional golf course. You’re trying to get the ball to the hole as fast and effectively as possible.

Now, kinky sex is more like putt-putt mini golf. You got ramps, you got windmills, you got things coming out of nowhere. It can be a little crazy, but sometimes also a lot of fun!

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This harem scene is from the 1964 “nudie cutie” film My Tale Is Hot:

According to the June 1965 issue of Monsieur magazine,

In production and technical values, the “nudies” have improved tremendously since the early efforts. True, none would qualify for an Academy Award in any category even today, but there is enough going on while the girls are not baring all that the customers don’t swamp the popcorn stand.

My Tale Is Hot is a current example. According to the distributor’s publicity department “It’s a regular panties inferno.”

Old-time, pint-size burlesk comic Little Jack Little plays Ben Hur Ova, an Arabian sheik visiting the USA, accompanied by one of his 27 wives, Myassis Ova. Meanwhile, south of the Styx, the swingingest Satan since Faust came a cropper is scheming to snatch another soul.

Satan himself is no slouch when it comes to the chick department. He is surrounded with a dozen Hades Babes, all au naturel. Now, if this is hell, heaven will just have to wait, but there is a fly in the ointment in the person of Mrs Lucifer, the original hell-cat. Madam Satan needles the old boy on every occasion, so off goes Satan to grab himself a soul — Ben Hur Ova.

From then on, it’s one tantalizing temptation after another, all wrought with Satanic magic. The temptations? What else?

Only, how do you tempt a cat who already has 27 willing wives of all sizes, shapes and dispositions? As always in the movies, good triumphs and evil is thwarted.

So be it.

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About fifteen years ago, a cheerleader playfully punched the mascot for the Tennessee Titans football team in the snoot. He’s a racoon. A brief tussle ensued, after which… he ate her:

I was surprised to discover that Wikipedia actually has a functional, if brief, vore article.

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I missed telling you about the annual Kink.com Halloween sale before Halloween rolled around, but at least at the time of this writing Kink.com hasn’t terminated the sale yet. They’re advertising six months for $66, which is a pretty good deal!

These photos are from a shoot called Merciless Faerie Tales:

As always, it’s Chuck Faerie’s smile that gets me. Smiles have been my BDSM porn downfall for literal decades.

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Someone on TikTok called The Warren Cup “the gayest object in the British Museum” and although I’m sure there must be other contenders, it seems like a reasonable first-pass claim:

According to Wikipedia:

The Warren Cup is an ancient Greco-Roman silver drinking cup decorated in relief with two images of male same-sex acts. It was purchased by the British Museum for £1.8 million in 1999, the most expensive single purchase by the museum at that time. It is usually dated to the time of the Julio-Claudian dynasty (1st century AD).

There have been claims that the cup is a 20th-century forgery, but analysis of the silver metallurgy and corrosion seems to have confirmed the ancient dating to the satisfaction of most.

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If they had to have just one letter of their sign burn out, the leading “S” was probably the worst possible letter the unkind electrical fates could have chosen:

Nonetheless, wild horses couldn’t drag me into a big box chain shoe store, but it wouldn’t take all that much persuading for me to addend a carnival of hoes. I’m just sayin’.

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