[Update: I no longer use Fiverr due to their bad habit of suspending gigs that aren’t frequently active, and because I’ve gotten more expensive, but I remain available for such research on terms I’d be happy to negotiate by email!]
A while back I got the wild notion to offer a porn research and attribution service. So far I’ve had a double handful of satisfied customers for that “gig” (as these little jobs are called on Fiverr, the micro-services site where I am making it available) and so I’ve decided to add a new offering.
I Will Prove Rule 34 For You With Example URLS For $5
You all know about Rule 34: “If it exists, there is porn of it.” It’s not always literally true, but it’s true more often than you’d think! And I’m just the man to prove it.
Five bucks gets you a small number of URLS (up to five) pointing at porn of whatever you specify. You can try to skunk me, but you’ll fail; and here’s why. This gig is guaranteed! Adele Haze pointed out to me the other day that there’s a moral-imperative corollary to Rule 34: “If you’ve identified an exception, you must redress the lack.” So, if you buy this gig and I can’t find any porn of whatever you specify, I will write you a dirty limerick about it and either send it to you or post it here on ErosBlog and send you the URL (depending on how proud of it I am). But either way, there will be “porn of it” before I’m done!
I should be honest, though. The $5 offering only gets you a few URLs or my dirty limerick. It’s a fun challenge and a way for you to astonish your friends by finding a small number of samples to prove the rule. But if you’ve actually got some incredibly-obscure fetish or fetish interest and genuinely want all of my best efforts to help you ferret out the best internet sources of porn that might satisfy it, I’m offering an “extra” on this gig where, if you check the box and pay another twenty bucks, I’ll write you a comprehensive Rule 34 search report. For this report, I’ll keep searching until I’m morally certain I’ve found everything that my highly-tuned porn search skills can turn up about your porn subject of interest, and then I’ll write you a comprehensive report with all the best URLs I could find, and a sentence or two about each one explaining what’s there. We’re not talking a long document; a couple of pages max, maybe, if you printed it out. But the report will cover all the best sources in whatever media (fanfic, art, movies, manga, YouTube videos, image boards, story sites, comics, torrents, whatever!) that I could find, with any suggestions I might have for further searching. In short, you’ll get my concentrated effort to help you find all the best porn on your subject of interest.
I don’t know whether anybody will take me up on this “comprehensive” extra. I do know from my experience with the porn research gig that if you do, you’ll get a lot of effort for your money. Once I get my teeth into a porn hunt it becomes a challenge that’s hard for me to let go of. And I’m pretty good at this porn searching stuff, if I do say so myself. Of course your outcomes will depend on what’s out there to be found; I can’t (except for the guarantee-limerick of course) make porn appear on the internet that doesn’t already exist. For this reason I do advise against ordering the “comprehensive” report unless you’re already fairly sure that at least some stuff exists out there to be found.
Here’s that link again:
I Will Prove Rule 34 For You With Example URLS For $5
2016 update: Because of some deficiencies with Fiverr I am no longer using their platform to do this work. But if you want to email me (baccchus@erosblog.com) we can make a private arrangement. However, these days I’m more likely to charge $10 than $5, just so you know.
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