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The Sex Blog Of Record
ErosBlog posts containing "sex toys"
March 19th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
I’ve long been a fan of decorative and functional glass sex toys. Glass is a great material for sex toys because it has fun thermal properties and is easy to clean. The Rotator nubbed glass dildo has a fun shape for couples play, too:
The nubbed, clear glass Rotator is sure to turn your partner’s head. (Pun!) Short and sweet, the nubbed shaft flares suddenly but manageably into a strawberry shaped head with vertical grooves. Around the inner rim more nubs are placed, ready to rest on you or your partner’s labia or outstretched anus. Moving still lower, the offset handle gives the Rotator it’s name as a swirl of the wrist rotates the dildo / plug inside your partner with multiple sensations courtesy of the varying textures. Perfect for temperature play, the Rotator is made of borosilicate, a glass that resists thermal shock.
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February 14th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Welcome to a world where cybernetic sex toys and robust artificial intelligences have collided, with unfortunate consequences for humanity:
Panels are from a comic called The Survivor by Paul Gillon.
Er, happy Valentine’s Day?
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January 23rd, 2014 -- by Bacchus
As y’all know, I’m a big fan of seasonal sex toy sales, because it gives me an excuse to look for attractive items that couples can use to have fun together. Let’s get started, shall we?
First of all, what is the greatest romantic holiday of the year without roses? But real roses are expensive and (if you source them the traditional flower-shop way) something of an environmental nightmare. And then, a few days later, they’re trash (or at best, compost). Feather roses are more fun (tickle party time!) and last much longer:
Another great couples gift is a sexy craft project that you can make together and use together. The Clone-A-Willy kit for making a dildo in his precise likeness has gotten a lot of press for this reason; you can have fun making it together and then play with it together or separately. Is she the type to steal your old sports shirts to sleep in when you’re not there? Perhaps she’ll enjoy a more personal memento!
For many of us, though, this is a holiday about chocolate. Don’t worry, we’ve got that covered! Indeed, why not get the make-it-out-of-chocolate version of the Clone-A-Willy kit?
But this is 2014, and what used to be sauce exclusively for the gander is now also available as sauce for the goose. Get those replica willies out of your mind for a moment. Did you know there was a Clone-A-Pussy Molding kit now available? (Sadly, apparently not in chocolate.)
This could be fun to use, but you’ll need to take care that you don’t give off any sort of creepy trophy-hunter vibe when it’s time to persuade the proprietor of your favorite pussy to participate in your proposed craft project. I can’t say I’m sanguine that the sales copy totally avoids that pitfall:
This fun and easy do-it-yourself kit includes everything you’ll need to make an incredibly detailed, life-size rubber copy of the outer portion of any vagina from your own home. Use the mold over and over again and create your own treasured collection of life-like vaginas. Please note: Your new pussy replica is a shallow likeness, without a hole, and not designed for …ahem…. insertion. Think of it as a naughty homage, as opposed to a working masturbation device.
Moving rapidly onward, as perhaps we ought, there’s a very real chance that a person might much prefer to explore his or her favorite pussy in the most exquisite detail, rather than making a non-functional partial copy out of rubber. If you suspect your lover of feeling that way about your own pussy, perhaps you might surprise them with a handy inspection tool in festive holiday pink?
For the more timorous among you, it’s worth pointing out that sexual how-to books and DVDs are among the safest, most non-threatening sexy gifts you can give. Your partner can process the gift on his or her own time, a sex book or video can be the topic of later open-ended discussion, and in the end, it can be a great way to bring new sexual material into your relationship. There are several awesome titles in this year’s sale that you may want to consider:
Enjoy!
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December 8th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
It’s vanishingly rare for any sex blogger to link to another sex blogger’s sex toy review. The very best of such reviews are at risk of being boring, because they swim in the same sea as a trillion crap reviews banged out by uninspired affiliate marketers. Thus there’s pressure not to blog “too much” about sex toys; and why would you blog about somebody else’s sex toy review when you’re limiting your own blogging on sex toy topics?
Well, in my case, the answer is, when the review in question is by Ephiphora and she’s reviewing a gifted used Sybian:
I am in disbelief as I unbox this toy, because I still don’t believe that someone would send this to me, ever, let alone for free…
But there it is. A Sybian. In all its hulking glory. Safe and sound, with the grotesque attachments neatly folded into a ziploc. It’s smaller than I imagined, but still quite a beast. It’s heavy, it’s loud, and the puny “handles” on the sides are laughable. I don’t know where I’m going to store it, and my boyfriend will never forgive me for acquiring yet another huge sex accessory.
Too bad. If someone offers you a Sybian, you say yes. This is law. You do not turn down a Sybian.
It turns out that the story behind Epiphora’s used Sybian is tangentially related to my post about Outliving Your Sex Toys. Epiphora’s actual review is about as you’d expect (the Sybian is big, it’s awkward, using it is something of a chore). But Epiphora plans to take good care of the beast:
Thank you, anonymous reader, for thinking of me as the recipient of your unwanted Sybian. I will take good care of it. In fact, I shall station it in my living room and cajole people into trying it when they come over, Howard Stern style. I figure it’s the right thing to do.
Indeed.
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December 4th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
It being that time of year, I went searching once again for sex toys that look great coming out of a stocking. I always recommend art glass! This year, maybe something in an anatomically-correct butt plug?
These are like movie-theater popcorn buckets; they come in large, extra-large, 2x, and 3x sizes. Don’t let your eyes get bigger than your bottom!
Update: No longer made, but you may find something similar in this collection of glass dildos.
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January 30th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
A while back I had a conversation somewhere on social media (I’m getting old enough for “can’t remember shit” disease to have set in, so I have no idea where or precisely with whom) with a woman who said she didn’t understand why dildo harnesses weren’t more popular with men. Being the (comedic) straight man that I am, I asked “Ah, durr, what for?” Her answer was, essentially, so they could do this:
That’s the Double Penetration Harness and Dildo Set. It caught my eye because I was looking at Valentines Day sex toy sales at the time and reflecting on how “sex toys as romantic gifts” is a tricky thing to get right. It’s no fun if the buyer won’t enjoy it, but you don’t want to be that guy who springs a new and possibly-unwelcome fetish play request on his partner in the guise of buying the necessary gear “for her” with a heavy side of “so now we have to play with it”. The trick, of course, is to buy gear for a fantasy she’s already expressed an interest in.
So, this may not be your situation. But imagine that she’s said on several occasions some variation of: “Gosh, I’d love to be double-penetrated like those girls in the pornos, but I don’t want another man in my bed so I guess I’ll just have to dream about it…” I’d say the Double Penetration Harness and Dildo Set is your opportunity to go all “I am a MAN, I provide SOLUTIONS by using ENGINEERING!” Once again, MacGyver saves the day.
Hey. Maybe that’s not your situation. Maybe you’ll do better if you buy her the Anal Rosebud Suction Cylinder (I am totally not making this up). I dunno. The point is, romantic sex toy gifts work better if you’ve been listening to your partner and get a gift that enables one of their sexual fetishes or fantasies, rather than just your own. Yeah, that’s so basic, but people (especially guys) get it wrong all the time.
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September 21st, 2012 -- by Bacchus
It’s always an eye-opener to discover (through the medium of sex toys) a whole field of sex stimulus and/or fetish play you never knew existed. Last year when my discovery of the Giant Penis Plug clued me into to the existence of a universe of rings, plugs, and probing devices designed to grab the penis and place/hold metal parts inside the urethra in various painful/pleasurable/controlling ways, my principle reaction was (metaphorically speaking) to clutch at myself and run away. I should have known (but did not immediately discover, due to aforementioned metaphorical fleeing) that whenever men buy toys for themselves that are machined out of steel, models with options, doohickeys, and adjustments quickly begin to flood the market. For instance, how is it possible not to offer something in this line that needs to be adjusted with a wrench?
Turns out, it’s not. Behold the Deep Driller With Cock Ring:
Here’s the sales copy; note the wrenching specs, AKA porn for the mechanically-inclined:
The Deep Driller is a stainless steel, dual action penis plug and cock ring that has an adjustable length urethral insert that prevents ejaculation, with a sturdy round cock ring to hold it in place. This hardcore piece of hardware is a very clever way to penetrate the urethra while trapping the cock in place.
A handy hex key (or Allen wrench) is included to adjust the plug length (up to 3 inches). Cock torture and chastity enthusiasts will enjoy this device immensely. It’s great for BDSM partners, slaves, Masters or Mistresses… and for solo masochists to play with themselves as well.
Dual action! Adjustable insert! I wonder if I can get that with tritium ghost ring sights and computerized injectors? {FapFapFap} Awshit, now I need a hanky.
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