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The Sex Blog Of Record
Saturday, November 12th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
This hands-on sex education session seemed to be going very well until the instructor said “Hang on a minute, just let me check something in the teacher’s manual…”
Photo is from a jokey squib about remedial sex ed in the August 1989 issue of Hustler.
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Tuesday, September 13th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
Well, this looks like fun! Andrea (Curious Cat) on Twitter has announced the release of The Amazing Sex Scene Rewrite, described as “an edularp about TV show writers rewriting a sex scene script by negotiating what elements should be part of it.” It’s available for download on Itch.io:
Unfortunately, Itch.io has placed this edularp behind one of those future-unfriendly “You must be 18+ to view this content” checkbox click-throughs, an effect of which is to entirely prevent the item from being archived by the Wayback Machine. So if you’re interested in this, download it now, while you still can. When the Itch.io link inevitably breaks, as all links eventually do, it will be gone for good. (See also: every adult-content Blogspot/Blogger post since 2015.)
Do I have an entire bellyful of snarky and sarcastic opinions about whether we ought to want to teach “communicating about sex and desire” to people somewhat in advance of them being released into the wild as legal adults? Why yes, thank you for asking, as it happens I do! But we live in the world as it is, and nothing about that is the fault of these edularp/game creators.
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Thursday, April 30th, 2020 -- by Bacchus
Look. “See, then do” is one way to approach sex education. It’s probably not a good way, mind you, but it’s a way:
Artwork is from the cover of Teacher’s Teasing Lips (Greenleaf/Patch Pockets 1986, PP-7417).
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Thursday, November 15th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
Sex education isn’t what it used to be. And neither, it seems, is a journalism degree:
I believe “first-hand job experience” would have delivered the desired visual impact here, but the headline as printed does raise an interesting question: when writing about a handsie, is the preferred orthography “hand job”, “handjob”, or “hand-job”?
My own preference is for the portmanteau word “handjob” but in all such matters, I like to go to Google, enclose the various candidates in quotation marks, and count how many returns Google says it has in its database. Here, the results in ascending order are:
Hand job: 33.9 million
Hand-job: 34.1 million
Handjob: 359 million (!!!)
So, by that measure, my preference is the winner ten times over. But, interestingly, Google’s on-page supplemental information varies across the three spellings. “Handjob” has a clinical Wikipedia entry with an on-page summary, but “hand job” gets an on-page dictionary definition, a cross-link to the search results for “handjob”, and a completely spurious book review box to a Google Books entry about hand-made typography. “Hand-job” gets the wikipedia link and the typography book, but not the cross-link or the definition.
Is my geek showing? Maybe, yeah.
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Thursday, January 22nd, 2015 -- by Bacchus
This probably isn’t effective pedagogy for a sex education class. But it looks like a fair amount of fun:
Pay attention: if you show a ruler in the first act, there should be a ruler spanking by the third act, right?
By now we can be sure that today’s volunteer guest lecturer has put in some time on the stripper pole. Also: it’s time for the spanking part of our demonstration!
Enough preliminaries. This is what you all came to see. Are you ready?
Photos are from the Fetish Network.
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Saturday, December 27th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
The latest course from Kink University is all about the butt sex. Specifically, it’s a tutorial video called Anal Sex 101: How To “Get Them To The Greek”.
From the tutorial description:
Here’s how to introduce your partner to first time anal sex, with preparation, communication, and stimulation skills that maximize success, helping to ensure that you both enjoy the first experience and want to keep doing it again and again. With Emma Haize as his model, Danarama demonstrates a variety of techniques including the best positions for trying first time anal penetration, and Emma describes her own anal sexperiences and porn star insider tips for anal cherry-popping and a fun future of taking it up the ass and loving it!
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Thursday, December 20th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
I suppose there’s no way to scale this sort of thing into genuine comprehensive sex education for everybody in America, but I think that’s rather a pity. Here’s Rain DeGrey on spreading the knowledge:
I was quite surprised when a 17 year old girl called Kaylie from Pennsylvania tweeted at me saying she was a huge fan of my work. Kaylie seemed quite friendly, but she was 17! How could she of even heard of me? My goodness. Kids these days. I told her I would be unable to talk to her until she turned 18, which she understood and respected. On her 18th birthday, Kaylie tweeted at me to let me know she was now legal to talk to, and we started up a friendly correspondence. I turned her onto Fetlife, and even her mother started following me on twitter. How cool is that? A mother AND her daughter following a BDSM kinkster on twitter?
And then one day Kaylie contacted me saying she had a situation and she wanted to know if I could help her. As it tuned out, her “situation” was that she was planning on trying anal sex for the 1st time, and she was wondering if I had any advice.
Well. Ask me about anal and be prepared to have your ear talked off. Enemas, cleaning, lube, prep and stretching… there are a lot of factors to consider. I got Kaylie’s number, called her up, and gave her a phone version of my anal play class, and then sent her off to have butt sex for the 1st time with strict instructions to let me know how it went. She texted me the next day to tell me everything worked perfectly. Awwww!! That was my girl, making me proud.
I never thought because of porn I would be calling up 18 year old girls in Pennsylvania and teaching them how to have successful first time butt sex, but that is the power of the internet for you… you gotta love it. I still check in on her now and then, I feel rather protective of this girl I have never met. She has turned into a bit of an anal expert, and I am happy to of been a part of that.
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Monday, August 6th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Once you can get past the timorous-sounding paragraphs of initial disclaimers designed to neutralize the barrage of inevitable carping from porn-negative folks, this list by Dr. Marty Klein is actually somewhat eye-opening by reason of its length. I’m not sure it should be surprising, though. I know I’m not the only one whose initial comprehension of sex would have been much the worse if all porn had been subtracted from the information available to me:
32 Helpful Things You Can Learn From Porn
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Saturday, October 22nd, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Courtney Trouble on sexual ignorance:
I’m going to speak from my own female point of view for a second and speak directly to the heterosexual guys out there reading this: Women do not want to have sex with people who don’t know how to have sex. Want to get laid? Want to get laid over and over and over again? Get yourself sex educated on female pleasure. Learn about the clitoris. Learn about sex toys. Learn about anatomy, fingerfucking, fisting, female ejaculation, cunnilingus, dirty talk, BDSM, kink, fantasy role play. Your ignorance is keeping you down. The guys who get laid all the time (and aren’t just lying about it) are the ones who know what they’re doing.
Pop Quiz: You’re fucking a babe. You orgasm. She doesn’t — WHAT DO YOU DO NOW? Your answer to this question is pivotal to your sex score. Thinking that female pleasure is “Gross” will get you nothing. No pussy for you. If you don’t know what to do with a pussy when your dick is soft — you don’t deserve any pussy.
Monday, June 20th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
So the other night I was blowing up some internet tanks and surfing gaming blogs during the 45-second wait times it takes to load into new matches after my own tank gets blown up. And there on Terra Nova I stumbled across a sex-related post that really made me stop and marvel:
Where Are All The Sex Games?
Some of the post is about the worthy topic of sex-education games (like this shooter with an STD message) but I was just sort of snoozing through a skim-read until I got to this part, which really woke me up:
There’s rather a dearth of recreational, digital sex games, a fact that surprises me given the proclivity of clever porn mongers who hawk every kind of sex ware imaginable. Have throughout history, using any available technology. It’s well established, for instance, that early photography and film thrived on sexual innovations. And we certainly spent a lot of time discussing the ins and outs of cybersex back in the day, when everything digital was a novelty. Are we jaded? Or recession economics?
Well, it seems like a business opportunity to me. They appear to sell plenty of books and board games in those novelty sex shops. People could certainly use some variety in their sex lives. Yet the ecosystem somehow manages to eschew innovation, just like the video game industry. Microsoft, for instance, is blocking sexual uses of their Kinect device, citing ‘unintended puposes’ (imagine a mash-up of a Kinect device and teledildonics – long distance love, FTW!). I did find A-Chat , but it seems like a graphics enhanced chat room app, and that’s boring, too… I suppose there’s the seedy underbelly that is Second Life’s sex subculture, but it seems, well, seedy. And not terribly educational. But if people are into it, great. Let’s just have some other options.
It is rather remarkable, when you stop and think. Why isn’t there an adult-themed cyber fun park that’s at least as large (and profitable) as World Of Warcraft? Why don’t we in the English-speaking world have a thriving sexual-games output to rival the Japanese?
I have some ideas about this, but first, it’s probably worth dipping into the shallow waters of my knowledge about the sex game options readily accessible to your average North American:
- Of course there’s Second Life. It’s not a sex game per se, but it’s a big and well-established free-wheeling virtual space, has an in-game economy, and allows an enormous degree of user customization of objects and spaces in the world. Accordingly (and this is by reputation, I’ve never logged into Second Life) it features an enormous amount of sexual material, as you would expect. Just Google “Second Life sex” to get a hint of the sexual diversity that flourishes in that environment.
- There’s a paid space called the Red Light Center that’s said to be pretty wild. I’ve never looked deeply into it, because in the screen shots I’ve seen, the female avatars compare unfavorably in appearance to the female wood elves in original Everquest, circa 1998. If I’m going to cybersex somebody’s avatar, I want it to be sexy-looking. (Yes, the Everquest wood elves were hot, for the time and the available tech. But 1998 is an internet eternity ago. I expect better now.
- There’s Sociolotron, another paid adults-only service that’s got a sort of “glorified cyberchat” reputation, along with some actual monster-bashing and game content. Speaking from a position of ignorance, this one seems to be showing its MUDdy roots…
- Trending away from the online social space toward lonely stand-alone clients on your PC, there is the family of products like 3D SexVilla from ThriXXX, which I have described before as “like better paper dolls for grownups”. This genre is typically visually rich but low on “game factor”; I remember a title for the early Mac in the 1980s that was called “Virtual Valerie” and involved manipulating an onscreen vibrator against a greyscale line-art posed naked woman until she made some noises and started shaking. Some progress has been made since then, especially on the artwork and customization side, with better costumes, posing, and settings. But in gameplay terms, I’ve yet to see one of these that was terribly engaging. Obviously the way to improve these is to get them onto the network and plug other gaming humans into the response loop, but so far the sites that can do that haven’t attempted to match the visually-lush qualities of these local-client electronic dollies.
I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff out there I haven’t seen, and I do invite readers to share in the comments if they know of any other noteworthy sex games. But I’m also confident there isn’t anything out there that even approaches a scale that could be called “mass-market”, and it’s a worthy question: why not?
I can think of a few contributing factors. “Uncanny valley” is a big one … we react well to cartoonish avatars and (maybe) to avatars that are hyper-realistic, but avatars that reach for realism and fall short? We process those as “creepy” and that’s usually an erotic dampener. (Certainly that’s a big contributor to my own lack of interest in the existing virtual worlds where sexual content is welcome.)
Another question is, how much are these worlds impacted by the Greater Internet Fuckwad problem? You can’t plausibly make an online adult playground without anonymity, but with anonymity comes an ocean of dicks, trolls, and creeps, all of whom feel unconstrained from demonstrating their worst and most colorful traits. It’s community poison, and the problem is too vast and varied for human moderation to be much of a solution. Some sort of clever community policing mechanic — as yet not invented so far as I know — would seem to be required.
Finally, the Terra Nova blog post focused to a much greater extent than I have here on the potential value of gamification in the field of sex education. I see the theoretical potential there, but it’s virtually impossible in a commercial sense to do anything involving legal minors and sexual information, no matter how tame. Too many people seem to go all explodey-head when you provide young people with access to sexual information; there are respectable non-profits that can survive that backlash, but I’ve yet to hear of a commercial enterprise with the ability (or courage!) to surf those dangerous waters. Worse yet, young people expect their applications to be networked; but if you add online interaction into any game environment that also requires anonymity, you’re back to the “dicks, trolls, and creeps” problem, this time with added opportunity for fearmongering. (“ZOMG, our kids are hanging out in an online space with TEH SEXXES and maybe PREDDATURZ!”)
So, that’s my answer to the missing sex games mystery: one part uncanny valley (which should go away in time as we get better at this stuff) and about four parts “how can you make a product that is pointless without anonymity but vulnerable to destruction (especially destruction of its reputation) by anonymous internet fuckwads?”
Packed deeply into the fuckwad problem, though, is the recognition that big feature-rich cyberspaces are expensive to create. If you’ve got the commercial resources to create one of these, you may find it’s safer to do something else with it (like a fantasy RPG) than to create an adult-content space that (if you fail to control the fuckwads) could destroy your corporate reputation and/or become a PR nightmare. But let me be clear: the game space itself might readily contain a thriving happy community that self-polices the fuckwads to an extent sufficient to keep the space thriving and happy, and yet it could still be destroyed (in the commercial sense) by the presence of fuckwads on the margins of the product, if those fuckwads are doing something that attracts lots of media scaremongering and knickertwisting.
So, even as we think “corps have all the money and are rightly scared to spend it on this” we shouldn’t extrapolate from there to “we’ll never see an adult playground like this”. We live in the open-source century, and big expensive-in-resources data/software artifacts are increasingly springing up like forests. We’re also learning (see “BitTorrent”) to distribute activities that are disapproved of by more dominant cultural forces (moralists with guns). So it’s easy to imagine a highly sexualized future adult online avatar space made without corporate money and running in a distributed or semi-distributed fashion that’s very difficult to suppress. That sort of project grows (if it does) very slowly, so don’t be holding your breath — but all the same, don’t be surprised if five or ten years from now, you’re reading breathless media articles about a sort of darknet Second Life where the users are complaining about virtual sharking by implacable panty-raiding fuckwads.
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Saturday, May 28th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Ms. Naughty:
In all the hysterical hand flapping of “somebody think of the children!”, nobody really sits down and says: “Well, what is it that we don’t want kids to learn or do when it comes to sex?”
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
Whatever they pay Emily Nagoski to be a sex educator, it’s not enough.
She starts with a definition: sex is “an evolutionarily adaptive reproduction strategy involving the recombination of two individuals’ genes.”
Friends, and I’m telling you straight: present that definition to me and I WOULD NOT CLICK THE LINK. Fuck no. Boring city.
But she unpacks it, explains it, walks it through gametes and peafowl and Alfred Kinsey and busy bonobo apes and her own beloved twin sister until she’s completely explained it, not only how that dry biology definition is sex, but why it’s the definition that explains not only romantic love but also every kind of kink you ever heard of:
And thus humans come with our ball gags, golden showers, foot fetishes, Catholic school girl fantasies, whips, cages, breath play, sensation play, group sex, monogamy, polygymy, polyandry, jealousy, gays and lesbians and bisexuals and asexuals and queer folks and folks who don’t claim any identity and transfolks, and LOVE ITSELF — and also assault, abuse, rape, pedophilia, and wide and daunting array of harmful uses to which we put sex, all the dazzling and heartbreaking variety we witness in humanity — vast, limitless. As Kinsey said, “The only unnatural sex act is one you can not perform.”
It’s the joyful work of a skilled professional. You really ought to go go see.
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Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
So, I was mucking out the Augean stables that are my email inbox. And there, from 2007 (!), I found an email from reader “S” linking me to a most amazing thing: a 1976 Spiderman comic offering some very basic sex education in concert with Planned Parenthood.
Years late, but I’ll say it anyway: Thanks, S!
Wednesday, June 18th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
This blog entry used to link to a short photographic how-to course in putting a condom on your lover’s penis with your mouth, a handy skill that should be practiced more widely. Alas, the links died long ago, and in those distant days [2003], there wasn’t an Internet Archive to preserve them. Except for one tiny thumbnail the photos were lost to us, and I had more than one reader write to me over the years, asking where to find them.
Fortunately, that’s not the end of our story about the technology of broken links and lost images. After the fortuitous invention of the reverse image search engine, I was once again able [in 2015] to track down the photos on an archived copy of a Czech-language malware-installing page. So here they are, back from the dead:
If anybody knows the true origin of this set of photos (I’m guessing an adult print magazine) I’d very much like to hear about it.
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