“Mistress, What Time Is It?”
Monday, May 24th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
Bite your lip and hang on, because it’s strap-on time!
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The Sex Blog Of Record
A Celebrated Strap-On
Thursday, January 18th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
The floral wreath around the tip of this strap-on dildo is intended, I imagine, to suggest that it is an award-winning tool, to which accolades are presumably due because of many fine orgasms skillfully and diligently delivered by means of its good offices:
The artwork is one of those ornamental publishing details that used to appear throughout the pages of better-quality books. This one appeared in an edition of Pibrac: Quatrains érotiques de Pierre Louys. According to the source I’ve linked, the artist is not known for certain but is said by at least one source to be Berthommé Saint-André.
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Early Advocacy Of Strap-On Sex
Sunday, January 8th, 2017 -- by Bacchus
Speaking as a representative of the “epoch of the future” appealed to in the text below, I see no flaws. I’d say “have at it!” but them as wants to already do without waiting for me or any other “legislator of strange pleasures”:
If males find intercourse with males acceptable, henceforth let women too love each other. Come now, epoch of the future, legislator of strange pleasures, devise fresh paths for male lusts, but bestow the same privilege upon women, and let them have intercourse with each other just as men do. Let them strap to themselves cunningly contrived instruments of lechery, those mysterious monstrosities devoid of seed, and let woman lie with woman as does a man. Let wanton Lesbianism — that word seldom heard, which I feel ashamed even to utter — freely parade itself, and let our women’s chambers emulate Philaenis, disgracing themselves with Sapphic amours.
See it here in the original Greek. It’s said to be by an imitator of Lucian, and thought to date from around 300 CE.
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A Man, A Plan, A Strap-on, A Double Penetration
Saturday, October 8th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
A few years ago there was a brief discussion here on ErosBlog about men wearing strap-on dildos so that they could double-penetrate their partners. Here’s a detail from a Hanz Kovacq erotic novel page showing that scheme in operation:
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Kiss The Tip, Suck The Dick
Tuesday, April 19th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
There is some atavistic male impulse within me that wants to disclaim these photos with a warning that the dick in question is not “real”. Which perhaps says more about my constrained notion of a “real” dick (warm living flesh attached to a man) than it does about the reality of the pictured dick:
In any case I should think one would want to be certain of one’s safewords and escape routes before telling domme Darling that the dick she’s wielding in these photos isn’t real. You there, you tell her. I’ll just be over here tightening up the laces on my running shoes.
Photos are from Sexually Broken.
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Taking The Strap-On In Turns
Tuesday, March 29th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
They take turns with the strap-on dildo, it’s only fair:
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Worship The Huge Ridged Strap-On
Sunday, January 3rd, 2016 -- by Bacchus
There aren’t enough ridiculously-oversized strap-on dildos (with “pleasure” ridges!) in the world. Just ask any fantasy-crazed pegging enthusiast whose lustful eyes are bigger than his anus; he’ll tell you so. Fortunately the Japanese anime people were on this problem years ago, and Bondage Blog has the artwork to prove it:
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A Whole Lot Of Fun Was Had
Monday, November 16th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
Why do I get the feeling that somebody (not pictured) was walking funny and sporting a big grin the next day?
One more from the archives. Let's see who can name my charming co-top in what was truly EPIC good-top/bad-top scene pic.twitter.com/GC9WBj3xTv
— mistressmatisse (@mistressmatisse) November 16, 2015
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A Lengthy Strap-On
Friday, September 5th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Two girls, one oversize strap-on dildo:
From ALS Angels.
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Flesh Fucker Gets His
Thursday, August 21st, 2014 -- by Bacchus
There’s a Flash Gordon parody by Wally Wood in the third number of his Gangbang! sex comic, and it’s called Flesh Fucker Meets Women’s Lib. (This was apparently an early 1980s reprint of artwork that appeared in The National Screw in 1977.)
In the short comic (just 3 pages and 17 panels), Flesh Fucker rescues the female heroine Gale on two occasions, and on both occasions he finds her naked and vulnerable so of course (this being a sex comic) he fucks her, without bothering with little niceties like, say, getting her consent. But Gale is a liberated woman, and she isn’t too impressed. Eventually she hooks up with a gang of Amazons, who storm the camp where Flesh Fucker has been tied to a log by hungry cannibals. At first he’s quite happy to see her, but then she takes her revenge:
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A Gift For Your Sweetie: Double Penetration!
Wednesday, January 30th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
A while back I had a conversation somewhere on social media (I’m getting old enough for “can’t remember shit” disease to have set in, so I have no idea where or precisely with whom) with a woman who said she didn’t understand why dildo harnesses weren’t more popular with men. Being the (comedic) straight man that I am, I asked “Ah, durr, what for?” Her answer was, essentially, so they could do this:
That’s the Double Penetration Harness and Dildo Set. It caught my eye because I was looking at Valentines Day sex toy sales at the time and reflecting on how “sex toys as romantic gifts” is a tricky thing to get right. It’s no fun if the buyer won’t enjoy it, but you don’t want to be that guy who springs a new and possibly-unwelcome fetish play request on his partner in the guise of buying the necessary gear “for her” with a heavy side of “so now we have to play with it”. The trick, of course, is to buy gear for a fantasy she’s already expressed an interest in.
So, this may not be your situation. But imagine that she’s said on several occasions some variation of: “Gosh, I’d love to be double-penetrated like those girls in the pornos, but I don’t want another man in my bed so I guess I’ll just have to dream about it…” I’d say the Double Penetration Harness and Dildo Set is your opportunity to go all “I am a MAN, I provide SOLUTIONS by using ENGINEERING!” Once again, MacGyver saves the day.
Hey. Maybe that’s not your situation. Maybe you’ll do better if you buy her the Anal Rosebud Suction Cylinder (I am totally not making this up). I dunno. The point is, romantic sex toy gifts work better if you’ve been listening to your partner and get a gift that enables one of their sexual fetishes or fantasies, rather than just your own. Yeah, that’s so basic, but people (especially guys) get it wrong all the time.
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Plastic Made Flesh
Tuesday, December 4th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Here are just a few paragraphs from Maggie Mayhem’s poetic and insightful Getting Real About Strap-Ons. I certainly learned more about what “doin’ it right” ought to look and feel like than ever I got from viewing random bits of thoughtless porn:
I’ll have strapped myself into the 117-step process that rivals that of the skydiving process, slid nothing but “The Cadillac Of Cock” into the ring, checked my hips, checked my dong, turned around to make sure the butt part was right (cause sometimes that gets criss-crossed and you should start over because it will chaff) and I realize that I’m totally ready to go. It’s time. It is totally time for me to the one in charge of the thrusting and the pacing and the entry and the stuff astronauts worry about pretty much.
…
And then the moment when you stop and make your best Prince face in the mirror with a sideways stare as you move to grab your member firmly for the first time. It’s like the final step to fully complete the animation process. It starts out at first as a novel feature, something to be giggled at with delight as the laws of physics are studied experimentally. But then, when you remember the task at hand, you have to ignite magic and pull the startup cord up in the brain.
That all happens when you clench your fist around that dick and turn your strap-on on. And maybe that silliness comes from digging back into your brain for those same muscles that turned cardboard boxes into pirate ships and sticks into swords and you were so good you could feel salty air on your cheeks indoors in a landlocked place.
I’ll show you transubstantiation.
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Strap-On Servicing
Saturday, September 22nd, 2012 -- by Bacchus
By now it’s a venerable tradition that an Ultimate Surrender wrestling match isn’t complete until the loser suffers ritual sexual humiliation at the hands (and often, at the point of a strap-on dildo) of the winner. It’s good to see tradition being respected:
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Suck It, Girl
Saturday, June 30th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Perhaps I’m just a poor innocent, but the proportions of this strap-on dildo strike me as ambitious, no matter what its intended orifice:
Of course, the ALS girls are known to the far corners of the earth for their enthusiasm and cheerful approach to substantial insertion projects…
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Another Strap-On Party
Wednesday, April 25th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
An old find in one of my Usenet directories:
Google tells me it’s from the 1920s, by an artist called Reunier.
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Strap-On Dildo Party
Thursday, April 12th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
From Kinky Delight:
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Verbal Self-Defense, Anal Edition
Thursday, April 7th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
A tweet from @AdeleHaze:
Got harrassed in the street with offer of anal sex. Informed the dickhead that I had a plastic cock and lots of lube if he was keen.
Too gentle, though. Dude wouldn’t have offered lube if things played out the way he meant it…
Here Comes The Strap-On!
Friday, November 26th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
This YouTube clip from the TV show Weeds can’t be embedded, which is no skin off my nose as I am not a big fan of embedding things that won’t be here a few months later anyway. But it’s worth linking nonetheless, just for watching the rapid deterioration of the smug look on his face as she pulls out her strap-on and starts strapping it on…
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The Happier Man
Tuesday, January 13th, 2009 -- by Bacchus
Judging by the number of “how can I get my wife to…” emails I’ve gotten over the years (answer: “Der… ask her maybe? Beg?”), there are a lot of households out there where this scenario could easily play out, more or less as written:
Bend over and grab your ankles.
What in the fuck is that?
Don’t play dumb. I’ve seen the bookmarks on your computer; you know exactly what this is. Now bend over and grab your ankles.
Those bookmarks don’t mean anything. It’s just crazy guy stuff. Just fantasy stuff. Not real.
Is that why you’re forking out all those credit card payments for memberships? I’m not an idiot, so don’t screw with me. Do it!
I don’t want to. I don’t want to do it for real.
Well, I really don’t give a shit if you want to do it for real. Quit your lying, quit your whining and bend over and grab your goddamn, fucking ankles!
I’m getting dressed and leaving. This is crazy. You’re crazy.
Is that what you want? You really want to leave? You really are going to pass this up?
What are you doing? Stop it?
Why? What’s wrong with me rubbing my girl cock up against your boy cock? Doesn’t that feel nice? Think how good it would feel to take it up the ass.
Stop it.
You don’t want me to stop it. Look: your boy cock is trying to grow nice and big like my big black leather one. I think it likes it.
It’s because your rubbing it with that stupid … that stupid thing. It’s friction. Of course, it’s going to react. I am a guy, after all. What do you expect?
I expect you to bend over and grab your ankles. You know you want to, so just do it.
I, um, I ….
Come on, just do it. I’ll just rub it up the crack. Come on, bend over.
Okay, I’ll let you play this stupid game. But don’t you dare try to put it in.
That’s good. Now lean shoulders into the ottoman so you don’t lose your balance, and grab your ankles. That’s it, like that. Just like that.
Which reminds me — Mistress Matisse had some trenchant advice recently for a man who wishes he was the star of that scenario above:
If you’re putting as much effort into making this idea attractive to your wife as you did in writing this email, I can see why she’s not going for the idea. I suggest you spend some time considering what’s in it for her to fulfill your fantasy. Is she going to get lots of orgasms? Or a long foot massage and dinner cooked for her? Or a new pair of Salvatore Ferragamo shoes? I think she should get all three, but that’s just me. Figure out what she wants, and give it to her. Then see about getting what you want.
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The Very Model Of A Modern Pinup
Friday, December 26th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
Penny Flame, in this picture, could pass as the very model of a 1950s pinup girl. Could she not?
However, this is the twenty-first century, and Penny’s apparently a twenty-first century sort of girl. For instance, you never got to see the 1950s pinups enjoy a spot of husband-spanking:
And this sort of thing? It would have been right out:
And as for pinup-girl blowjobs? Or ride-em cowboy kinky bondage sex? Nope, sorry. For that, you need a thoroughly modern pinup girl.
The pictures are courtesy of Men In Pain.
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Big Peg
Thursday, September 25th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
I am not sure what this girl is saying as she smiles back over her shoulder, but out of sympathy for Mr. Asterisk, I am hoping it’s something like “Would you please pass the butter?”
Found this bit of pegging art on Usenet.
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Bend Over Anime Boyfriend
Monday, September 8th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
This happy bit of lovingly-drawn prostate stimulation is in honor of Violet Blue’s pegging post and column from last week:
From Usenet.
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More Vintage Strap-on Dildo Sex
Friday, October 12th, 2007 -- by Bacchus
Remember my Strap-On Sex, Circa 1910 post in which I teased Susie Bright about inventing the strap-on dildo? Well, now (courtesy of Vintage Lust, a fresh-but-promising trove of vintage sex pictures) we have yet another fine vintage image of lesbian strap-on sex:
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The Twelve Tushes Sex Dream
Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 -- by Bacchus
For some reason, I always like to read accounts of people’s sex dreams, perhaps because the filters that kick in when we consciously create fantasies in erotic fiction aren’t present in dreams. From Provocative Persiflage, we hear about the dream of twelve tushes:
The Tale of Twelve Tushes
All lined up in a row.
This was my dream the other night.
The room was dark and mahogany paneled. The light from the wall sconces was enough to illuminate their flesh but cast a glow rather than a glare on the 12 perfect asses raised, waiting.
I was wearing a strap on harness, a large, very life-like dildo protruding from my hips, and standing behind the girls. (Well, women really, all were of age but since it was a dream, the ages were sketchy at best.)
J was in front of them, his hard cock perilously close to their mouths.
We moved down the line. I fucked each one fluidly as they sucked his cock. When I was finished with one I signaled to him and we moved to the next girl. Their greedy pussies begged for more as I thrust in and out. They were all perched on the perfect height “table” and we both move fluidly from one to the next. I recall we were having a grand time.
All 14 of us.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
